My take on a transphobic trope

I've been thinking on this transphobic trope that gets thrown out: being trans* and/or medically transitioning as a type of self-harm and/or removing “healthy” tissue.

Sometimes this is expressed in a more more subtle manner: concern-trolling about poor lesbians and/or masculine girls who might get confused and transition, people who are anti- certain body modifications comparing medical transition to those body mods, or even throwing out a comment about how trans-related surgeries don't look/function well.
Sometimes, they are very, very obvious: talking about chopped up or mutilated bodies, outright saying that ev0l doctors and trans* people are coercing lesbians/butches into transitioning, that we're just delusional freaks, or that trans* people are like anorexic folks and medical transition is like liposuction or gastric bypass surgery.

First of all, compare a transphobe's thoughts on how being trans* is self-harm to a homophobe's view that being queer is self-harm.
There really won't be too many differences.
Usually the transphobe will say something about how patriarchy/Satan/etc causes trans* people to Not Be Good Cis* people or how in a more godly/feminist/etc world there would be less of us. Replace trans* with queer and cis* with straight and you have a homophobe's thoughts.
Compare “transitioning is harmful and it's wrong to remove healthy tissue!” to a homophobe's thoughts on how queer sex is Dangerous and Bad For You.
They sound the same and they are both just as wrong.

If you believe the notion that being trans* is self harm that means you believe there is something wrong with being trans*; that it is right and natural to be cis*.
It follows that you believe it is better to stop trans* people from being trans* (or, openly being trans*) than it is to remove transphobia and cissexism.
Because, in this view, transphobia and cissexism are good, right, normal, and natural; after all, if we didn't mess up your perfect world we wouldn't get hurt.
Sure, you'll say that they don't want people to be hurt, but then...as long as we just shut up you don't ever have to think about it, now do you?

Or, as Cedar says, “Society’s myth of universal cissexuality *is* incredibly fragile, and has to be protected at all times–but what has to be done is not to create a stronger foundation (which they never ever do) but to disrupt any other conversation that’s happening.”

Yes, being trans* can be difficult.Yes, there are a lot of dangers out there for trans* people.
But, removing transphobia and cissexism will remove most of those difficulties and dangers; really, the only ones intrinsic to being trans* are body dissonance, gender disphoria, and things like depression that result from denial and such.
Medical transition usually removes the body dissonance. Living as your actual gender, without discrimination and harassment, will take care of the issues caused by pretending to be the wrong gender; having your loved ones and social circle gender you correctly will as well. Therapy will take care of whatever that doesn't; talking through issues that childhood denial caused (and childhood denial should happen less often in a world without transphobia), therapy or anti-depressants should help with depression, etc.
So, since in a world without transphobia there would be few, if any, major difficulties or dangers to being trans*, being trans* is really not all that intrinsically harmful--it's the cis* world's cissexism and transphobia that are the problems.


I suppose to someone out there in the world there is some knee-jerk validity to the idea that you shouldn't perform surgery on healthy tissue...
But, you have to look at what you are considering healthy tissue and on how you are defining words like harm, needed, unnecessary, etc.
Is tissue that you feel, deeply and instinctively, to not even belong to you really all that healthy?
Is psychological pain not considered harm?
Should a person have to attempt all sorts of therapy and mental gymnastics to accept how their body is currently shaped instead of having surgery or hormones?
Is the former not as harmful as the latter?
Is removing psychological distress unnecessary?
Do you think that people can just ”get over it”, “cheer themselves up”, or ignore anything that isn't purely physical?
Well?
Well, I would say, that is someone needs to medically transition then whatever hormones or surgery they have are needed and necessary.
(personally, I do not have issues with body mods or other “unnecessary” surgeries, so if a trans* person who doesn't need to medically transition wants to, I have no issues with that. But I think that may be a little off-topic, I just wanted to make that clear...)


Sometimes you get people, sometimes well meaning but sometimes mean spirited, bringing up the actual or supposed limitations of medical transition: “Why would you want to have a penis that doesn't function?” “Aren't you afraid of looking like a freak?” “Wouldn't you rather keep your body how it is than worry about what sort of health complications transition could bring?” “But you're such a pretty girl?”
First of all, what is functional, working, pretty, etc is defined by the individual. Like how you hear a lot of static about how ugly and nonfunctional phalloplasty is, yet every guy I've heard from who actually had it loves the results.
Honestly, I don't see anything “freakish” about trans* people's bodies. Our bodies, no matter what medical treatments we have or have not chosen to have, are not freakish or ugly or disgusting. A lot of people have scars. A lot of people have had invasive surgeries to improve their quality of life; there is nothing disgusting or ugly about it.
Everyone has different preferences for facial features and the like; some people find “feminine” looking men (trans* and cis*) attractive, some people find “masculine” looking women (again, trans* and cis*) attractive. We will be attractive to some people out there; moreover, attractiveness is not the be and end all of happiness.
We also weigh the health consequences carefully. Yeah, when we choose to take hormones or have surgeries we gain a greater likelihood of some complications, but there are usually complications to not having those procedures as well.
Remember, how are you defining healthy? I'd say not-suicidal yet at a greater risk of heart problems is a hell of a lot healthier than being so depressed you can't take care of yourself and constantly try to kill yourself.

It's not like we jump into medical transition without thinking.
For instance, I've seen a few trans* guys who've had to come to terms with their beliefs about what constitutes healthy tissue and unneeded medical procedures and their need for surgery. Some suggested that trans* folks wrestling with these feelings think through it like I did above. Others said that they had had a dialogue with their body; telling their chest or uterus how while there may not be anything wrong with them, they simply didn't belong on their body, how much they needed this surgery, etc.
I don't think there is anything wrong with the trans*folks that had/have these feelings; we live in an ableist and transphobic world after all. But I do think we should examine these feelings and decide what are our ethical beliefs and what is just internalized shit.


There's also this idea that “1950's psychologists" invented trans*ism as a way to make queer and gender-nonconforming folks into straight conforming folks. Check out any decent history on trans*ism or trans* people, The History of How Sex Changed, Transgender History, etc, and that trope will be proven wrong.
Trans* people would comb through science/medical journals, write to the few drag/trans* newsletters, write to Christine Jorgenson, etc. begging for information on how to transition and who to go to. Women would take BC pills and other forms of estrogen and then go to doctors and say they were intersex. Even now we still have to work to get any help medically transitioning at all.
And ya know, we really don't seek out questioning people to convert to our Dangerous Lifestyle; our communities constantly have trans* people just coming out of denial coming to us asking for information and help.
Whenever I've seen people ask for help in figuring out their gender and what path is right for them, I always see people tell them that there are a number of possibilities and only they themselves can figure out who they are and what is right for them (though, yes, books and therapists and talking to others can help).


Though this trope is often thrown out too, I really don't want to address “butch flight” because I was never butch or involved in any lesbian/womens communities--but Gauge wrote a great piece.

There is also the ableist idea that being in an unaltered (“natural”) body is more moral/better than being in an altered (“unnatural”) body. --This feeds into the idea that our differences mean we are defective and wrong and need to be cured or eradicated.
There is the idea that being trans* is caused by some defect in us; whether a defective uterus that gave us the wrong dose of hormones, a defective brain that makes us hallucinate, or a society that gives us defective socialization. While some forms of trans*ism may be caused by hormones in the uterus or brains that are shaped differently or whatnot, this is not a defect (seriously, natural variations in populations do occur!).

(Eli Clare has written a few things on the similarities and intersections of trans*ism and disability much better than I ever could)

A lot of times when transphobic people are “discussing” trans*ism or trans* people they will compare us to people with schizophrenia, OCD, or otherwise unnamed “mental illnesses” or “delusions”. They will talk about how we don't give in to their delusions, so why should we treat trans* people any differently? They may even decide we should all be institutionalized or forced to take medication instead of being allowed to transition.
This is, by the way, true even if you ignore the times we are called crazy, insane, psychopaths, nutjobs, etc.
(I don't really know where I'm going with this point exactly, I just don't think this trend should be ignored. Maybe someone who has a better understanding of ableism would like to look into it, I really don't feel knowledgeable enough to do so.)

ETA: Cedar's poem Diseased is amazing.

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Yes, I Will Condescend! (with emoticons even)

If a white person says they don't want me to call them white, that white is an insult to them and they're colorblind, colorless, the master race, etc--I'm gonna call them white anyway.
If a white person says or does something racist I'm gonna call them a racist.

If a straight person tells me not to call them straight or heterosexual because they're really just normal and calling them straight is an insult to their religion--I still call them straight or het.
And if they say or do something homophobic or heterosexist I call them on it.

I'm gonna call someone who makes a few million dollars a year rich; even if they see themselves as being middle class or normal.
And, you can say it with me now, if someone says or does something classist I'm gonna call them on it, even if they think it's an insult.

Now, guess what?
^.^
If someone is not trans*, in any way shape or form, I'm going to call them cissexual, cisgendered, or a cis*person even if they think it's an insult (though it's not).
If someone, who is or is not trans*, does or says something transphobic or cissexist I'm going to call them a transphobe, a cissexist, and/or a bigot even if they think that's an insult (which it may or may not be, context is important).


There is this whole idea that there are, surprisingly enough, multiple ways of identifying and multiple ways of being privileged/oppressed!
No really! You can be both black and rich, a man and trans*, disabled and straight, and all sorts of other combinations! You can even be straight, a woman, and rich. Isn't that special? =^.^=
This means, children, that you can be both oppressed and privileged.
They don't cancel out either! They intersect--can you say intersectionality? (Since some folks are so fond of it, I did link to Wiki, even if it isn't very great generally.)
Therefore, you can have racial privilege even while being oppressed because you are queer and trans*. Like me! ^.~
You can also be oppressed because you're a woman while gaining privilege (remember, privileged folks generally don't see their own privilege even when it's pointed out!) because you are not trans*; this would be either or both cissexual or cisgender privilege--yes, I use both those words and they have different meanings! ^.^
And ya know, you can also be cisgendered and a woman and a female. You see, none of those cancel each other out or overlay the others. Just like how you can be both straight and a woman. ;)


ETA: I agree with Lisa.
If cis*folks, all of them whether they're radical feminists or not, stop calling us by the wrong sex and/or gender labels, labeling us as freaks or deviants or perverts or monsters or “most self-destructive embodiment of the patriarchy” or anything else we don't choose for ourselves... If cis* privilege goes away, never to return... If we were no longer oppressed because we are trans*...
...Cissexual, cisgender, etc would not have to be used and it wouldn't be privileged to tell us not to use it.
So, since I doubt cissexism will go away until all the other oppressions also go away (and they won't go away until cissexism is also dealt with), why don't you stop telling us why we do what we do and why we are who we are, stop misgendering us in your words and thoughts, stop kicking us out of rape and DV shelters, etc so we can all go back to work?
Because until you stop attacking us and being cissexist, we won't stop calling you on it.

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Definitions and Explanations

So I was planning on doing this whole dictionary-style post because I don't always use the general definition for certain words and I use some words that aren't really all that common. But...I started that post and it was boring me to tears so I downloaded the free trial to WOW...

ETA: Here is a decent list of definitions for terms often used in progressive, liberal, etc. comms (like how racism=prejudice+power).

I think this will be more of a 'constantly edited as things come up' type of definitions post instead of one long post on every word in the world.
I'm hoping this will be helpful to some folk and maybe it'll give folks something to think about.
If you have any words you want me to add, any questions about my definitions, if you disagree with something, or whatever just comment!
(ETA: I grouped these into categories as neither alphabetical nor the original order would work very well. I also added a 'slur' section.)

Identities:

Trans* - An umbrella term for transgender, transsexual, transfemale, ftm-spectrum, etc. people.
I prefer to use the asterisk because there are so many possible variations on labels and identities. For instance, a person who identifies as a transman and a person who identifies as a trans man are not necessarily using the same identity. The trans man may see himself as a man who happens to have a trans* history; while the transman may identify as a transman and not just/only a man. But then again, they may not make this particular distinction or what they mean could be entirely different. Personally, I like Cedar's post on this.

Trans*ism - An umbrella term for all types of the things that make us trans*--transsexuality, transgender, bigender, genderqueer, etc.

Transsexual - Someone whose subconscious sex and assigned sex are not aligned.
While many people only include those who are post-surgery/hormones or at least those who desire surgery/hormones, I do not. Not all transsexuals have the same level of body dissonance or need the same things to cope with it.
Some people also think a person has to identify with a binary gender identity to be transsexual, I do not. So, I think it is possible to be both transsexual and genderqueer.

Genderqueer - An umbrella term for those whose gender identity falls outside or between the binary.
Also, an identity where the specifics are usually defined differently by each individual.
There are genderqueer people whose gender is Butch, genderqueer female, Androgyne, bigender, boi, etc (though not all who hold those identities also identify as genderqueer).

Transgender - I sort of have three different definitions here:
1)An umbrella term for all non-cissexual and/or gender variant and/or some crossdressing folks. 2) A political coalition of those groups.
3) An identity; the exact definition is generally unique to each person, but generally transgender folks don't define themselves as only men or women though they may define themselves mostly as men or women.

Cis* - Someone whose subconscious sex and assigned sex do not conflict; moreover, their basic gender (not gender roles, sexual/romantic orientation, etc) and the gender usually assigned to that sex also do not conflict. So someone who is assigned female/woman and identifies as female/woman is cissexual (gender/sex roles, masculinity/femininity, misogyny, sexual orientation, etc do not play any part in whether you are cis* or not).
"Identifies as" doesn't have to be active or conscious; in fact, with cis*folk it rarely is. So someone who defines themself as, "a female who rejects how females are expected to be and behave under patriarchy, and who loves her femaleness and that of other females" (for instance) is still cis*.

Cissexual - Someone who isn't transsexual.
Someone whose subconscious sex and assigned sex do not conflict. So someone who is assigned female and identifies as female is cissexual (gender/sex roles, masculinity/femininity, misogyny, sexual orientation, etc do not play any part in whether you are cissexual or not).

Cisgender - My definition of this is still in flux somewhat. Some people use this to mean anyone who isn't trans*; I think that is too simplistic. Other people use it to mean a binary gender identified person whose gender identity doesn't conflict with the gender people usually read them as (so a post-transition, man or woman identified transsexual could be cisgender as well as any cis* person); I'm not sure I like that definition.
So I'm currently defining cisgender as someone whose assigned gender doesn't conflict with their gender identity.

Note on intersection of these terms: I think it is quite possible to be cissexual and trans*; I'm specifically thinking of genderqueer people who feel no body dissonance, but I'm sure there are other possibilities. With how some people define it, some people can be both cisgender and trans*--as I noted under cisgender. And just how crossdressers' identities fit into them I do not know (I don't know much about crossdressing as an identity; I like wearing skirts every so often, but it has nothing to do with my gender or anything).

Intersex - "A general term used for a variety of conditions in which a person is born with a reproductive or sexual anatomy that doesn’t seem to fit the typical definitions of female or male."
Some trans*folk consider one or more forms of trans*ism to be intersex conditions, but as this has not been proven, I do not consider trans*ism to be an intersex condition.
Some trans*folk are also intersexed and both groups sometimes share some experiences, but intersex folk generally face things that trans* folk generally don't--like finding out doctors surgically altered your infant genitals without even your parents' knowledge. See Eminism for more.


Harry Benjamin Syndrome (HBS) - One theory as to why some people are transsexual. Basically, this proposal states that transsexual/HBS people are intersexed because there are physical differences in male and female brains and that transsexual/HBS folk's brains align with the sex that they identify with and not their assigned sex. There have been a few studies done, but they have been small sample sizes and some have been contradictory or inconclusive.
Unfortunately, the most vocal supporters of this theory tend to be heterosexist and cissexist as well as vehemently anti-genderqueer, anti-crossdressing, etc. (Although not all are, as I have come to realize). Though HBS as a theory shows some promise, it will have to gain better scientific backing and lose the hateful and exclusionary taint before many will support it (and as of right now, I do not believe that any recognized/credited scientific group supports or recognizes the proposal).


"Wom*n-born-wom*n" - A cis*woman.
Some feminists, most notably those of the Michigan Women's Music Festival, often use this phrase to exclude trans* women from women's spaces. Many trans* people find its use very offensive because of this.


Queer - An umbrella term for non-straight folks (though sometimes heterosexual folks into BDSM define themselves as queer). Moreover, it's an identity for those of us that don't feel comfortable with lesbian/bi/gay; as per the pattern here, this identity is also generally defined differently for each person.
Personally, I use it to mean that while I am mostly interested in other men, I like people that fall outside the binary, women every so often, and I tend to be 'geek-sexual'. I use queer to differentiate myself from "straight acting", assimilationist, HRC-type LGB people.

Terms:

Assigned sex - The sex you were assigned at birth (and generally raised as).

Biological sex - The sex you are biologically. As this depends on chromosomes, primary sex characteristics, hormone levels, neural-map (imo), and other characteristics, it can therefore be very difficult to say with any certainty.
I happen to define my biological sex as transsexual male, so it is best not to assume a person's bio sex.

Perceived sex/gender – What sex/gender others generally assume you are.

Subconscious sex - What physical sex you instinctively feel your body should be.

Gender identity - The gender you identify as. This may or may not have anything to do with masculinity/femininity or subconscious sex.

Gender expression – How you express gendered behaviour; generally how masculine/feminine you are. Although some folks include other labels, such as geek or butch or androgyne, under this heading. I happen to see my gender expression as "glam geek" or "geeky glam" (depending on how I feel right then).

Gender/sex roles – How society expects you to act and what it believes you must do based on your gender/sex.

Body dissonance – The inherent wrongness many trans* people feel when our body does not match our subconscious sex. What exactly it feels like is different for everyone—my experience is linked in the sidebar.

Transition - There are at least four different types.
Medical (any medical steps a person goes through), cosmetic (haircuts, new clothes, etc), social (coming out and living as your gender), and legal (changing documents and names).
I don't believe that any sort of transition is a requirement to identify as anything. A pre-everything trans*woman who is just coming out on an internet forum is just as much a woman as the deep stealth, post-everything HBS woman. The former woman just isn't yet recognized as a woman. Yeah, they both have different experiences--that doesn't change who they are inside; they are all women's experiences.

Harry Benjamin Standards of Care - The guidelines doctors and therapists have drawn up to treat trans*folk. There have been several variations over the years.
Old versions included physical appearance (thinly disguised "would the doctor fuck that or not?"), conforming to strict gender roles, being straight, being wealthy, etc.
In some medical journals, trans*folk who went public with their transition were described as “sociopathic” (according to Whipping Girl.
Here's the current version-now known as WPATH-SoC (thanks Jay).

Brain-sex theory (HBS is one specific brain-sex theory)– A theory of one possible cause of transsexuality where the hormone baths in the uterus cause the brain to develop a neural-map that does not match the physical attributes of the body.
A neural-map is the map your brain may or may not have (I personally doubt that this map is universal in detail and strength) of the major attributes.
Obviously, more studies need to be done before anything can be confirmed. It's also likely that different types of trans*ism have different causes.
Personally, I rather like this theory as it describes my experiences perfectly.

Misgendered - To be assumed to be the wrong gender. So when someone calls me by female pronouns, they are misgendering me.

Correctly gendered - When someone correctly sees your gender. So when someone includes me wit other men, they have correctly gendered me.

Ungendered - "An attempt to undo a trans person’s gender by privileging incongruities and discrepancies in their gendered appearance that would normally be overlooked or dismissed if they were presumed to be cissexual." This can be done either by considering us "really" a man or a woman or by third-gendering man/woman-identified trans* folk.

Ft*-spectrum (usually seen as ftm-) - All trans* people who were assigned female at birth. This is a very general term that includes men with a trans* history, bois, female-assigned genderqueers, etc.
Some people use trans*masculine, but I find that to be offensive to non-masculine trans* guys and masculine trans* women.

Mt*-spectrum (usually seen as mtf-) - All trans* people who were male-assigned at birth. This includes women with trans* histories, male-assigned genderqueers, transwomen, etc.
Some people use trans*feminine, but like I said above, I find that to be offensive and incorrect.

Passing - To pass as a cissexual person of your gender. So when I say I pass I mean that I pass as a cissexual man/boy. Many people are starting to talk about how this word is somewhat cis*-centric, see gendered/misgendered/ungendered.

Stealth - Living as your gender without telling folks you are trans*. There are a lot of different levels and subtypes; the most drastic being 'deep stealth'--what used to be required/recommended by the Standards of Care-- cutting off all contact with everyone who knew you by your assigned sex (even parents) and moving to a new city and a new job.
While I do wish it were safe for everyone to be out and I also wish we had more role models and people to educate the masses, I do not believe that being stealth is cowardly or wrong.

Nongendered pronouns - Pronouns for when you either don't know a person's gender (or are speaking generally) or if they don't identify as a man or a woman.

Privilege - I happen to think that there are two subtypes of privilege; external and internal. External is based on how others perceive and act towards you. Internal is how you perceive yourself and how you internalize the messages sent to you.
So External Privilege is getting accepted into college because your name sounds "American". Internal Privilege is believing that you are better or prettier than people with poor people or those with wider noses.
Cedar/Hazel has some thoughts on this too.

*anyprivilegedgroup*-centric - Focusing on the privileged group and ignoring/erasing any and all oppressed groups. For instance, talking about love and relationships as if everyone is straight is heterocentric.

Cissexist - Privileging or seeing cissexual experiences and cissexuals as better than anyone else. Heterosexism is the same, just replace cissexual with heterosexual.
Or, I'll just post Julia Serano's definition:
"The belief that transsexual genders are less legitimate than, and mere imitations of, cissexual genders.

Cissexism is most typically enacted through one or more of the following processes: trans-fascimilation (viewing or portraying transsexuals as merely imitating, emulating or impersonating cissexual female or male genders), trans-exclusion (refusing to acknowledge and respect a transsexual’s identified gender, or denying them, access to spaces, organizations, or events designated for that gender), trans-objectification (when people reduce trans people to their body parts, the medical procedures they’ve undertaken, or get hung up on, disturbed by, or obsessed over supposed discrepancies that exist between a transsexual’s physical sex and identified gender), trans-mystification (when people use the relative infrequency or taboo nature of transsexuality to mystify, artificialize or to “other” transsexuals), and trans-interrogation (when people bring a transsexual’s identified gender into question by asking them to answer personal questions about their life story, their motives for transitioning, medical procedures they have undertaken, or when they obsess over what causes transsexuality - such questions reduce transsexuals to the status of objects of inquiry)."

Slurs:

(Some are reclaimed, some are not, and some are in the process of being reclaimed; it's best not to use these terms negatively or at all if you are not a member of that group)

Dyke – From what I can tell as an outsider, this seems to be mostly reclaimed and has a lot of positive and/or neutral meanings and is even many folks' identity. Its usually used as an identity for queer women/females (but some ftm-spectrum folks also use it).

Fag/got – Originally meant firewood, they also mean gay men. Many queer men have reclaimed them, such as myself, others see them as a slur.

Hermaphrodite – While there is some mythological history, this term was also used for intersex folks. Most intersex folk see it as a slur and a few others have reclaimed it.

Shemale – Usually used in porn for a “chick with a dick”; someone who is portrayed as a pre- or non-operative trans*woman though the actress may actually be a cis*woman with a prosthetic/strap-on.
Very few trans*women that I know have reclaimed this term.

Tranny – Somewhat reclaimed, though many trans*folk, like me, raise their hackles when cis*folk use it. It was also used primarily for trans* women, so it is incorrect for trans* guys to attempt to reclaim it (something I was guilty of).

Tranny-chaser – Someone who fetishizes and/or objectifies trans*folk. Originally, it meant cis*men who used trans*women as a way to satisfy their needs/urges for anal and/or queer sex. Now, most folks who use it realize that trans*men can be the focus of tranny-chasers and that cis*women can be tranny-chasers.
Some tranny-chasers are abusive, some will try to control the transitions of the trans*folk close to them, others are just privileged.
"Tranny-chaser" is not reclaimable as it is not referring to a marginalized group, but to a oppressive group who prey on a marginalized group; just as misogynist and killer are not reclaimable.

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