Will be away for the weekend. I'm going to my grandparent's place for a few days. Wish me luck. >.< 
--This is mah kitteh, Buttercup. Wasn't she pretty? Mind you, the picture can't show you how mean she was to practically everyone but me. ^.^
--Elijah Blue
--Copper
--Fiddle
--Elijah again
--Fanon Draco!
--The Sand Siblings from Naruto
--Sand Sibs again
--Gaara in soup
--Gaara and Naruto
Friday, September 5, 2008
Thursday, September 4, 2008
RNC Brutality
Theres been a bunch of stuff happening that I really should have been blogging about. I'm sorry, but I just wasn't up to it; loads of stuff offline and personal things, but I'm also getting burned out. I am so tired of the same old cardboard arguments getting thrown at us, the same old trolls sapping our energy, and the constant betrayal for crumbs from the kyriarchy. But I'm not the only one and getting tired of getting shit thrown at you and yours is bound to be tiring. I'll rest when I need it and get back to cleaning when I can. ^.~
So, back to what I should be writing about:
RNC. Blackwater, targeting medics(!!!), illegal arrests (journalists!!!), illegal searches(!!!), police brutality(!!!), fascism, actual assassination plots going unpunished (who cares if Obama gets killed), media blackout, gathering info on undesirables...
Need I go on? (no need, BFP has been awesome)
Of course, everyone is focusing on Palin and her baby's baby and not the Illegal Activity the government is participating in. I don't give a fuck about who is preggers and who wasn't.
I give a fuck that the government is stepping up it's fascism and brutality to levels that are obvious to anyone with eyes. How long until this becomes the common way of treating all citizens? (already intersections of POC, queer/trans* folks, homeless folks, poor folks, etc are treated this way)
How long until running to Canada is more than just talk? How long until the doors of moderate straight, white, cis*, men and women are getting broken down because they said something unpatriotic? How long until the S.O.S. men are real?
PS: petition to drop charges against the journalists.
Saturday, August 23, 2008
War
I just got this video from Lisa; and it's...chilling.
I hope to the Gods that this Scott Ritter is exaggerating or mistaken. I do not want nuclear war; do they not know that MAD stands for Mutually Assured Destruction?
I agree with Lisa; we cannot let McCain win.
Almost forgot, Don't click play if you can't handle disturbing video. Including small children who are injured/dead.
ETA: Sorry Andy, I completely forgot to give a summary I watched the video and thought "I have to post this, I am terrified of this possibility"; parts of the video are text though.
Basically its a bunch of quotes from Republicans and various military higher-ups about how McCain is a loose-cannon and the idea of him being POTUS scares the hell out of them.
I'm not sure about the details or the validity of his statements, but the author Scott Ritter is talking about his book and how the Bush administration has made it easier to use nukes on "enemies".
Theres also a lot of quotes from McCain about how we'll be in Iraq for 100 years and how there will be more wars in the next few years (Iran was mentioned as a specific example). Also about how the "young people" in his audience would be serving in those wars.
This makes me hope that if McCain wins, DADT stays in place; because you just know they will make it impossible for us to get out of McCain's draft otherwise. And yes, McCain would like to reinstate the draft. Fyi, my spiritual beliefs would make me unable to participate in a war unless it was entirely defensive (like, if Canada invaded MI) but because I'm not a Christian, and my beliefs aren't written in some holy book, so theres no way they'd let me out of a draft.
Various links and a wittle rant
This is why I want a gun of my own.
(Triggering)A Philadelphia judge has acquitted the killer of a trans woman of murder charges, despite an impassioned plea by the prosecutor that malice was behind the shooting. At the end of a three-hour bench trial on Aug. 18, Common Pleas Judge Jeffrey P. Minehart convicted Terron Oates of voluntary manslaughter in the death of Alexis King.
Oh "trans panic" defense don't we hate you; though cis*folks are all too ready to believe you even when the evidence completely disproves you:
[...]
Minehart didn’t explain his ruling, but it appears he accepted the defense’s position that Oates acted in the heat of passion after he picked up King for sex in February 2006, then shot her twice after realizing she was a biological male.
[...]
“Mr. Oates isn’t so naïve that he can’t find a gun,” she said. “He has an illegal gun in his car, he’s out at five o’clock in the morning on a school night and he’s going to a strip club when he’s underage. He’s sophisticated enough to be doing those things. Yet the defense portrayed him as an innocent, naïve little boy.”Oates told police he didn’t realize King’s biological status until King grabbed Oates’ hand and placed it on King’s penis, inside the car.
Because Ms. King would totally put herself in danger (and out of a paycheck at the least) by being "sexually aggressive" and forcing her john to acknowledge that she isn't a cis*woman. Because, while getting shot in the back, she would totally be tucking herself back in. Then, more magic powers here, she would teleport herself and her blood into the street (not a hospital).
Oates did not testify during the trial but his early statements to police were read for the record.
However, Sgt. Daniel Dutch, who’s worked undercover as a “john” in the area, testified that he’s never heard of — nor experienced — such behavior by a transgender sex worker.
To the contrary, transgender sex workers normally go out of their way to avoid having the johns touch their penises, Dutch said.
And medic William Murphy, who administered emergency care to King after she was shot, testified that King’s penis was “tucked” between her legs, held in place by her panties, when he got to her.
The shooting happened in the Nicetown section, near the intersection of Bott and Kerbaugh streets. King was shot twice, from the side and rear, according to the medical examiner’s report.
Her body was found about 120 feet from Oates’ car, where she collapsed in a pool of blood, evidently trying to run for safety, said Feeney.
McMonagle [the defense attorney] said the shooting happened during “pandemonium” in Oates’ car, after he felt King’s penis, tussled with her for Oates’ pistol, then King moved toward him.
But Feeney refuted that scenario.
“At no time was she ever coming toward him when he shot her, because she was shot from the side and rear,” Feeney said. “That tells you right there that the defendant is lying. If you’re coming toward someone, your front would get shot.”
She said Oates’ actions after the shooting also contradict a heat-of-passion defense.
“He immediately got rid of the weapon,” Feeney continued. “If you can’t think straight, you’re not going to do that. Then he calls 911, does this act on the phone about a robbery and unknown gunman and lies to the responding officer and detectives. To me, that shows a pretty good presence of mind, don’t you think?”
Fuck that noise.
If there are any mutants or aliens with super powers in Philly, I nominate Judge Jeffrey P. Minehart and Terron Oates as the next recipients of your justice. And, please, only mutants and aliens with super powers; we all know ('cause Marvel told us so) that you folks aren't real vigilantes and you always do things for the right reasons and never get caught.
Helen is asking What If?
I'd like to ask too. So, transphobes whether you be feminist or Christian or just an average Joe/Jane, what the fuck do you expect us to do in your utopia? I know we've been told to pray harder, examine our beliefs, and choose a different life...but what if that doesn't work or we are post bottom surgery? Do we join the priesthood (despite some of us not believing), do we kill ourselves?
What exactly do your theories mean for us--the real live trans* people?
Fuck ableism. Making a woman crawl off a plane, beg for a frigin bathroom break?
Fuck the comments too; access to water and a bathroom are human rights. So is basic respect and dignity.
OMG, the military discriminates against trans* folk! Who knew?
But hey, the APA said they're going to try to take a leading role in ending discrimination based on gender identity! Though for some reason this sounds hollow to me (maybe because Zucker was on the task force and will still be working on the DSM-V).
Shout out to Rozk; and her awesome post about how transphobic feminists can and do really hurt trans* folk and anyone who cares for trans* folk.
Shout out to Cedar; I especially like this piece.
Wednesday, August 20, 2008
'Stupid assumptions' is redundant
"Intolerance is the most socially acceptable form of egotism, for it permits us to assume superiority without personal boasting."
"It's surprising how many persons go through life without ever recognizing that their feelings toward other people are largely determined by their feelings toward themselves, and if you're not comfortable within yourself, you can't be comfortable with others."
--Sydney J. Harris
There is a part of me that just can't let go of the idea that we transition to be straight and/or to conform to man=masculine/woman=feminine ideals.
With my knowledge of myself and other trans* folks, it just makes no sense.
This idea ignores genderqueer folks as well as other trans* folks who don't identify entirely as either a woman or a man.
It ignores queer trans* folk.
Theories that contain this idea ignore feminine ftm-spectrum folks and masculine mtf-folks.
The idea completely ignores androgynous trans* folks as well as others whose gender expression is neither masculine nor feminine.
And most of all, this idea erases all that we say about ourselves.
I absolutely hate refuting this idea/theory.
Because I find most simple answers are subversivist and/or ignore trans* folks who do not feel the need to transition.
Because I never remember to answer the base assumptions instead of the surface arguments.
This argument is so tired and old and has been used by everyone from transphobic queers to religious fundamentalists to transphobic feminists to social conservatives.
The assumption that masculinity is forever tied to 'man' and maleness and that femininity is forever tied to 'woman' and femaleness.
This theory assumes that there is something inherently sexual about being trans* or transitioning.
It assumes trans* and trans* folks are a monolithic group/ideology.
Proponents assume that there is something bad about being trans*, something horrible about transitioning. That no one would transition or be trans* if we didn't have to.
When for many trans* folk, being trans* is about their sex, being trans* is about their gender not fitting into either man or woman, being trans* is about their soul, being trans* is a very individual thing and is not easily explained, and there are so many ways of being trans*.
While many of us are sexual beings (just as many cis* people), we do not all view genitals as being inherently sexual.
There is a huge amount of diversity in the trans* communities; both in what 'trans' means to people and in our interests and views.
I am so glad that I am trans*; I feel like even if my life ends tomorrow, I will have grown so much in this life just from being trans* and meeting people through being trans*. I am not alone in this.
I felt so much more free after I was finally able to be out about being a guy. I feel so trapped in not being able to start T or get surgeries. I am not alone in this.
If there was a pill that would make me a cis*woman, I would refuse it. If there was a way for me to go back in time and make me a cis* person (woman or man), I would refuse it. If there was a way to make sure no trans* people would ever be born, I would fight against it. I am not alone in this.
If you listen to us, most trans* folks would not be helped by just getting rid of gender or getting rid of rigid gender/sex roles.
Try listening to us, we know that Jesus/Allah/Kali will not "fix" us if we just prayed more (God[s/ess] makes no mistakes, right?).
Listen and you'll know that ideology and talk therapy will not "cure" us.
Listen and you'll see that drugs and behavioral therapy do nothing to help us.
Listen; don't assume, listen.
For some of us, medical transition is a necessity for continued life and/or happiness.
For some of us, being able to have nongendered pronouns known and respected is necessary.
For some of us, unisex toilets are a temporary or permanent necessity.
For some of us, legal gender/sex markers need to be changed or done away with.
But for all of us, respect and acceptance and love are necessary.
This is the reality, the logical conclusions.
Monday, August 18, 2008
Friday, August 15, 2008
Fucking Hell
I love how much privilege us trans* folk, especially trans* women get.
While so many of you radfems are trying to prove how m33n we are and how we are all liars and can't possibly be telling the twuth about ourselves and how you must know more about "trannyism" than us...
This SHIT was happening!
(Warning for triggers and RAGE)
Kellie Telesford's murderer, Shanniel Hyatt, was declared innocent because she must have killed herself in a kinky sex game and then covered herself with a blanket after he stole her stuff. trans* women, especially black trans* women, have magic powers and are all into kinky sex games! And even if he did kill her, she is a tranny and of color and into kink and probably a slutty whore and she deceived him, so obviously she deserved it. *sneer*
I just missed another anniversary of death.
A neighborhood is harassing sex workers, especially the trans* ones. Because obviously trans* sex workers create all sorts of crime, and they can totally go get high paying jobs with no fucking problem.
And on the radio and TV we have folks dehumanizing more trans* women!
Because Ange Zapata also deserved to her her head smashed in with a fire extinguisher.
And any trans* woman willing to go on TV deserves to get all the fucking tranny jokes you can think of thrown at her.
Zucker and other fucking quacks are being invited to speak on "GID" youth.
Because reparative therapy works so fucking well.
Vancouver Rape "relief" is proven to be fucking bigoted assholes.
I have to hold in my rage and tears. I can't scream and cry and break things.
I can't because I'm at home and I can't let my parents know how much danger being trans* is.
I can't let them worry that much.
Here is my dirty little secret:
I want to put on my most angry music and destroy something.
I want those super powers I've been told we use to destroy feminism.
I want to fly to Shanniel Hyatt's home and destroy him.
I want to hear my metal-enclosed fist break Anthony Tyrone Biscoe's face.
I would like to tear Adrian Williams' mind to shreds and watch him gibber in a corner.
I want to watch the blood flow after I cut Allan Ray Andrade's throat.
And I am not all that violent of a person; vegetarian and anti-war and all.
Where is our super hero?
Where can I find out masked crusader?
How long till we get our Bruce Wayne, or even our Magneto?
Because we don't get justice.
We get told we deserved it.
If the police won't help us, if they take part in raping and killing us, it seems like we will need to make our own justice.
And I am beyond pissed off right now.
ETA: Just remember straight and/or cis*folks, you don't have to be queer or trans* to be killed by a heterosexist/transphobic person.
Tuesday, August 12, 2008
Camp Trans is made of win
As I said before, CT was awesome.
Michfest is no longer it's main thing, though certainly its still important to CT. The "WBW"(such a BS phrase) policy is pretty much unenforced and it seems like the majority of festies either don't care if trans* women are there or want trans* women there. In fact, some festies who left early left their wristbands with CT for trans* women to get in and another festy donated money for tickets for trans* women. I missed the days we walked the line, but I heard that reception was mixed which is pretty normal. Though there were some folks that didn't talk to any negative people at all.
The mtf-spectrum folks who went to fest all had a good time, they even hosted a workshop on ENDA. One woman I talked to said that one festie she had spoken with in the line recognized her and came over and said hi and was very glad that she had made it into fest.
There was some bad news. A fest van crashed and, while I'm not sure about details, apparently one fest goer died. When we learned of this, as a community, we immediately decided to get flowers and bring them to the gates. So the next day folks donated money and a few campers went to town to get the flowers. According to those that brought the flowers, the gate keepers were very grateful and I guess there were tears and hugs all around.
Getting back to CT...
I was completely in love with the trans*-centric space there. When we introduced ourselves we gave both our names and our preferred pronouns. Everyone I spoke to respected the gender identities of the others. I can't really put into words how awesome this felt.
It was literally the first time I ever felt really, really safe and not on the defensive in regards to my gender. It was the first time I felt that complete strangers would respect my maleness without me having to hide my transsexuality.
It was just utterly amazing to go somewhere and not second-guess myself and distrust the folks around me (in regards to my gender).
There were all sorts of genders represented; people who identified within the traditional binary to people who couldn't fit into it if they tried. There were butch mtf-spectrum folks; fem ftm-spectrum folks (besides me, though I wasn't feeling all that fem while I was there); and all sorts of flavors of androgynous folks. There were people who didn't use pronouns; some who didn't care what pronouns you used; there were folks who got very offended (rightfully so) if you didn't use the right pronouns.
And there wasn't any excuse for using the wrong pronouns; not only did folks introduce themselves with their pronouns, but it was perfectly acceptable and welcome to ask someone which they prefer. And I say this as someone who did accidentally use the wrong pronouns a few times; and I too don't have any excuse--all I could do was apologize and work to not fuck up again.
But yeah, just being around so many awesome trans* folk and making friends with them and really finally understanding that I'm not alone was just amazing. I really recommend going if you are trans*--especially if you don't know a lot of trans* folk yet. Though obviously only go if you are able to respect all trans* folk. *glares at the HBS folks*
Allies are of course welcome, but this is a, especially a mtf-spectrum, trans*-centric space.
And while I think mtf-spectrum folks were under represented, it wasn't nearly as bad as it used to be and there were a ton of totally awesome mtf-spectrum folks there. *waves at Cedar, Veronica, and everyone else*
There was also a lot of work on becoming better about class, race, disabilities, etc. It was sort of interesting because along with the folks who were in college and/or were rich enough to take a week long vacation, there were a lot of up who just didn't have a steady job or school who were able to come because we got rides or whatnot.
There weren't that many POC, but CT is working on trying to both be a more supportive and anti-racist place as well as reaching out to trans* people of color.
CT is also becoming pretty good about people with disabilities. We had an accessible porta poty this year. As well as folks who signed up to help with stuff like putting up/taking down tents for those who need help, carrying gear, etc. They also have a generator for things like power chairs.
There was also a great medic tent that anyone could go to. They had an herbalist, EMTs, and even a doctor for a bit. They did everything from advising about alternative treatments for long term things to removing ticks to giving folks their hormone shots.
There were also Advocates at most workshops and there was always at least one on duty and sober. They acted as amateur counselors, drama mediators, shoulder to cry on, etc.
I need an advocate now I think, I'm having a hard time writing this post because I want so badly to be back.
The workshops I went to were great. We had all kinds of workshops; serious ones like Accountability, fun ones like Ropes Bondage and Trans* bodies, identity-based ones like Genderqueer Caucus, and all sorts of others.
I attended one informative one about trans* and queer identities and science. An awesome festie ran it, she's a biologist and had all sorts of info and studies that apparently prove that queer, intersex, and trans* identities (at least regarding subconscious sex, gender isn't so concretely proven) are natural (I'm not a scientist and I didn't get a chance to read them through, so I can't say if they do prove anything). We exchanged emails and she got my url, so maybe she'll show up to comment sometime. It was amusing, when I mentioned my "how I experience trans*ism" post she seemed really interested in reading it. I guess my phantom limb syndrome really makes sense in her theory (something to do with the lymph system or something, I can't remember)[ETA: In comments she said it was the ancient mammalian limbic system of the brain, not the lymph system--I is SMRT].
The food was also really, really good. I need to get a hold of the vegan garlic potato soup we had for myself and I think my mom would like the vegan borst (though I'm not a fan of cooked carrots or beets, it was good).
Helping in the kitchen was a lot of fun. The kitchen princess (she's in charge of the kitchen and cooking) was really cool and workshifts were a useful and fun way to get to know more folks.
And you got extra helpings and/or treats for helping in the kitchen (cooking or dishes).
I don't remember how much I've talked about my depression or my current situation here in public, but I think CT will be the goal that gets me through. Not only do I have to goal to get to CT next year, but I hope to be in a place where I can work on various issues at CT.
Like I think that once I've started T, camp will be the perfect place to work on my nudity issues (CT is a very body-accepting place, but I just won't be able to work on certain body issues until I get on T). And I think that if I don't take on too much and keep my eyes on next August I could get through a school year okay, which means that I would have access to health care, which means I could go to an endo and get some vitamin T. I am waiting on my bf to see about possibly living somewhere outside of MI with him, but I think I will be able to deal if I do have to live in MI for a bit. Before I couldn't have dealt with that.
Even this year at CT, with all the problems I have currently, I was able to work on my confidence some while I was there, just by being there with such great people.
In less than a week I feel like I've healed and grown so much thanks to the wonderful folks I met there and the wonderful folks who put CT together these past few years.
And if anyone has any questions about CT feel free to ask. I'll answer what I can. ^.^
PS: CT friends should feel free to comment here or on my LJ (friend me to, I still read my friends page) at any time, I miss you all already. ^.^
ETA: [Removed because I'm not giving them energy]
ETA2: *waves to festies*
Hey, I hope you like my blog; theres a bunch of trans* 101 links to the side if you are interested. My friends who went to fest said it was a lot of fun! I'm glad you all have fun, personally. And I do support women-only space; I just support women-only space that includes all women.
CT was amazing and free (in more ways than one), maybe I'll see you all next year!
Monday, August 11, 2008
He's Back!
So I'm back from Camp Trans.
It was totally made of awesomesauce. I cannot wait to go back and I wish it could have lasted waaay longer. I am definitely going to do a write up in a bit, but right now I am really tired (first shower and comfy chair in a week) and I'm semi-catching up on the internets. I'm just reading my favorites and skimming a lot; at CT I used up all my alloted excitement and energy for the time being. ^.^
I met sooo many completely rad folks and I hope to get to know them better in the coming year(s).
I am just so happy to have gone. Not only was it a fun place where I met great people, but it was incredibly healing. This was the first time, other than a bit online, that I could discuss really personal trans* related stuff or even stuff that was not directly related to me being trans*, but is still impacted by it, and have a group of people nod and tell me that what I experienced/felt/did/etc was completely natural. Even though many of our experiences and/or identities were very different, we supported and cared for and respected each other so much.
It was just so amazing; yes, there were problems and whatnot, but it was still just so amazing. It was so great, but now I am completely exhausted, and it isn't even 9pm, I can't write much more than that at the moment.
Wednesday, August 6, 2008
Tuesday, August 5, 2008
Waiting
So, since my sister is ill and my mom doesn't want to drive back alone from dropping me off, I have to wait to go to Camp trans till the morrow. No, I don't drive. Trust me, you don't want me driving, we would all die.
But yeah, that means no internet for a few days. Yay Camp Trans! ^.^
I was commenting on the F Word, but I bowed out because I thought I was leaving.
I can be quite mean when I want to be (just ask my sister); why should I comment there if I am told I was too mean when I wasn't even trying? Perhaps I just have a tougher hide since I'm used to the snark comms on LJ; Rachel should be happy it was me commenting and not Drea. Drea would have made her cry. ^.^ I <3 style="font-weight: bold;">am quite mean and I need to improve my tone.
Apparently, calling a trans* woman by nongendered pronouns when it is quite obvious she identifies as a woman and uses female pronouns (everyone uses female pronouns for her; it isn't hidden) is not sufficient evidence of a commenter's disrespect. Apparently, many people believe that if an oppressed person is too mean, those in the oppressive group don't have to care or listen; oppressed people must beg appropriately for our rights. If we are too mean, if we don't use the proper tone, we aren't deserving of rights or being listened to. (go greased lighteningwite magik, go wite magik!)
What I was reading and what I think you should read.
Message Received, by Woman.
"Even if it turns out that trans people provide scientific proof that gender is something that exists as a real biological phenonmenon rather than a strictly social construct, feminism remains intact. Sexism and the resulting oppression of women is a social construct, because it is founded on the idea that gender is a binary with proscribed behavioral expectations for either side. Transgenderism simply provides another dimension to the ideology of feminism: the fascinating idea that gender is far more complex than binaries.
...
There really isn’t any good reason not to allow trans women into feminist women-only safe spaces if they identify as women, only fears that the patriarchy gives us, and we have far more reason to reject that then we do to deny the inclusion of trans people whose fundamental premise (again, when you really listen) is a rejection of the patriarchal definition of gender."
Sweden is proposing to make sterilization mandatory for all trans* people who wish to medically transition. What was that we were saying about how horribly trans* people are treated by doctors? Honestly, medical questions are the most common questions to be asked in many of the trans* forums I read. Not only questions with finding decent doctors, finding therapists who won't turn you away, but asking questions that their doctors can't answer because they don't know or care about trans* health. Asking, because they may be afraid of even going to a doctor, if x symptom could be a result of their hormones; even if they aren't afraid of doctors they may be afraid that their doctor will take away their hormones. BTW, Nick Gorton's free book is recommended for learning about trans*men's health.
Its the Trans Agenda!!!
Debi Crow on Angie Should Still be Here. (fyi, women-only commenting)
"The point I am going to make is a simple one: Angie Zapata's life, and her murder, are just as important, equally as important as those of the 2 women a week who die in this country[the UK] at the hands of husbands, boyfriends, or male relatives. Just as important. And the women here dying every week are just as important, equally as important as Angie Zapata, and all the other trans women and men who are murdered for being trans.
...
And if you are a feminist who is concerned about the epidemic of male violence against women, but do not think that the death of a trans woman is that important, or anything you need to concern yourself with, you are not only lost, but also wrong."
More from Debi, the roma are being horrifically persecuted. Now the government is trying to mandate finger printing to control "thieves" and "immigrants".
A Letter to Kyle Payne from Outis.
I left a comment on his site, but he deleted it. I basically told him that Ren and the other "pro-porners" in the "smear campiegn" are better feminists than he is; given that he's raped a woman and all.
BFP thinks on how Angie is Latina, will this be used as another excuse to let Andrade off? Was this another reason Andrade felt she was less than human?
"Angie’s murderer may have assaulted her to find out if she was a ‘real’ woman–but he listened to her name, the way she spoke, he noticed her skin color, the clothes she wore–and ALL of those things, along with whatever he thought he felt or didn’t feel when he assaulted Angie, came together in his mind to create “it”–a thing worthy of murder, a thing nobody would care about if she came up missing."
Unfortunately, very, very true. Trans* women of color, especially if they are poor or are sex workers, are the ones most often killed and beaten and raped. Race, trans* status, her gender as a woman, her actual or supposed job as a sex worker, her class, these all an more come together to create a nonhuman in the eyes of the kyriarchy.
Ren's feeling better! Hopefully she won't scar and can get back to work soon. ^.^
She also has another list of folks writing on Payne.
Belle has written on Angie and how London Pride called for back-up against the trans* women who just wanted to take a piss. Later, one trans* woman was sexually assaulted after she was forced to use the mens bathrooms.
I haven't had time to read it yet, but Julia Serano published an article in Alternet (apparently, the comments are disgusting though).
I'm a little wary of linking to theFword due to how the tone argument got thrown at me and Emily, but I really like this post. Laura's rethinking her devotion to the "gender is entirely a social construct" theory. Personally, I think it is obvious that she still is against sexism and rigidly defined gender roles. Most trans* people are too you know. Rigidly defined gender roles need to be banished; genders should not have any scripted roles, especially not ones that are enforced with violence. We need to separate gender from assigned sex, gender and sex from gender roles, gender from orientation, etc. Trans* people are not inherently in the way of this (some individuals are of course, but then so are many cis* folks).
Miss Crip Chick's entire front page is interesting and awesome.
Saturday, August 2, 2008
Triggers: Angie, may you rest in peace with those who respect you
One of the phrases that google sends my way the most is "too fucking easy". It links to a post where I linked to someone's essay on how easy it is to kill a trans*person. My post is about both Sanesha Stewart and Cameron McWilliams; she was murdered for being trans* and sie was a possibly trans* child who killed hirself.
Since then, and I have been lax about reporting, Ebony Whitaker and Angie Zapata have both been brutally murdered for the great crime against humanity--being trans*.
Angie's killer, Allen Ray Andrade, is going to use the "trans panic" defense; aka, it tricked me and so I had to kill it.
Trans*people, especially trans*women of color who might be prostitutes, are not worthy of life. And when they touch you, the murderer, or worse--someone finds out they actually touched you, you have to destroy them.
You, murderer, can't just kill, not, you have to destroy them as much as possible.
Then, after they are dead and gone, you, all, have to dehumanize them and disrespect their very being.
You, the media, just have to use their old name; and if they changed it, you still call their real name an 'allius' or a 'nickname'.
You, the courts and police, just have to ignore the evidence and never bother searching for the killer. If you deign to look, you let him off with barely a slap. And everyone, and I mean just about everyone, ignores it; business as usual; no one of any real importance, no person, was killed or anything.
Fuck that noise.
Angie was 18. Eight-teen.
Why the fuck is someone so young in the morgue? Why is she in the ground, when she had just barely begun to live her life (not lifestyle).
She's barely more than a child...
And fuck everyone that says she should have known, shouldn't have been meeting folks off the internet, shouldn't have "deceived" him, shouldn't have led him on, shouldn't have worn that short skirt.
As I said in a LJ comm, the reason why we are told we have to disclose is cissexism. Obviously, one part if that is that if we don't disclose we could be attacked if they find out. We are "supposed" to disclose in a safe place where they can't murder us.
But the reason why we are attacked is because we "lied".
We duped.
We fooled.
We messed with your assumptions.
We are assumed to be cis* (and not intersexed).
I blame the entire concept of "we have to disclose" on cissexism.
The main reason we have to disclose is that the other person(s) assume that we are cissexual (as well as not intersexed).
Because they assumed we were a cissexual person, they assumed they knew what our genitals basically look like (and what they used to look like).
When they find out their assumption is wrong, it is suddenly our fault they assumed something incorrect.
Therefore, cis* privilege and cis*-centered thought says that we were lying/deceiving/fooling an innocent person and that we need to disclose to be "honest" with someone. (can you see my sneer at the word honest?)
It would be unthinkable to accuse a cis*guy of deceiving someone when they assumed he was circumcised when he was actually not.
It's perfectly alright to have a preference for certain genital configurations. But it is your own fault if you forget to ask and find out your assumption was wrong.
And your hurt feelings are never an excuse to hurt someone else; a polite "no thanks, I'm more into xyz" would suffice.
In the perfect world no one would have to disclose; no one would assume you were cis*; everyone would, when negotiating sex and/or relationships, bring up their genital configuration as a matter of course.
I keep trying to put into words what Angie's death means.
What knowing another sister is gone forever feels like.
How I'm sure her friends and family already feel her loss.
I can't.
I'm no great poet.
But Angie, Ebony, Sanesha, Gwen, Brandon, Tyra, Robert, and all the people whose names we never knew, but nonetheless mourn, will be remembered.
Friday, August 1, 2008
Are you listening?
An open letter to cis feminists
Stop fucking up.*
I have complained numerous times that the feminist blogosphere, such as it is, has one main conversation about trans people, one that is returned to again and again and again - the political implications of our transitioning. Click here if you want yet another example of pointless bloody "analysis."
I don't CARE about whatever horrible thing some feminist has said anymore. I care that these discussions centre on cis concerns, even (maybe especially) allies respond mostly to the slurs, but rarely address the real issues.
Now, if you want to have those conversations, here's an idea. Subject yourself to the same kind of analysis. Honestly interrogate if and how you might have more or less privilege than trans people. And no, for the millionth time, trans women are not the fucking Patriarchy.
Or how bout this for an idea. Spend some actual time and energy on trans issues. Here is one thing you are barely talking about - the continual violence against transgendered people for being transgendered.
Blog about Angie Zapata. Blog about Ebony Whitaker. Blog about Sanesha Stewart (to name just three trans women murdered this year).
Try subjecting all that torturous analysis to something actually useful - how violence against trans people occurs. Try thinking about the fact that it is overwhelming trans women of colour being murdered. Try thinking about the intersections between race, transness, misogyny and sex work.
Try writing about the way that institutions collude with this violence - that medical professionals may willingly leave you to die, that police may not prosecute, that lawyers use "trans panic" as a defence to justify the death, and then to add insult to injury, the media effectively blames the dead person for their own deaths AND misgenders them.
And for fuck's sake, don't blame the fucking victims.
I DARE YOU.
* if this doesn't apply to you, then it doesn't apply to you.
So far, a fair number of folks have linked or posted on this too.
I have to admit, I do sometimes focus on the concerns of cis*feminists. It is easier to spork the latest Trans Activist Privilege Checklist instead of writing on how insurance and hospitals refuse to treat us or, if they deign to look at us, give us subpar care. It does feel like it is easier (and cheaper) to change the minds of cis* feminists than cis* politicians.
I also don't like covering the latest deaths/beatings because a) its depressing (gods is it depressing) b) there are never any respectful, decent articles and c) they are never ending. You post on one death/beating and a few days later theres another.
I just can't deal with it; and I feel so wrong for not being able to since I'm not the one whose existence was destroyed.
(Disclaimer: if it don't apply to you, then it don't fucking apply)
I am getting so tired of trans* 101. I am so over "justify your existence to meee!!!"
I want to be able to have a post on TDoR without fucking cis*people stating or telling us they have issues with "transgender politics". I want to be able to x-post or read a trans*-related post on a "general" feminist or progressive forum or blog or LJ comm without rampant cissexism in the comments.
I would really like to go one month without any beatings or rapes or murders of trans*folk. Just one month where we are all considered human and worthy of respect.
Why the fuck do trans* folks have to justify our existence, have to prove that we and our gender identity deserve respect?
Why, when we point out that X cis*feminist has written and worked against us, are we told that we should "put that aside" because she has done "so much for [cis*]women"? Why do we have to bring it up, why can't we focus on the real issues.
Why do I have to have a disclaimer so that I don't hurt the feelings of some poor cis*person? Hellsbells, even if we do put up a disclaimer poor, put-upon, cis*folks will still get all butthurt.
Well, why the fuck can't you just listen? Just shut up and listen. That's what members of the privileged group are supposed to do. I shut up when sex workers talk, when people with disabilities talk, when people of color talk.
When trans* people talk, cis* folk are supposed to listen!
And no, I don't fucking care if you disagree with "trans politics" and therefore aren't cis*--only normal or FAB or whatever (though I do think you can go fuck a lead post).
There are no "trans agendas," no "transgender politics," no "trans lobby."
There is no reason for you to "deconstruct" transgender--the kyriarchy already does it with every murder.
The next time you laugh at a tranny joke, "is it a him or a her? no, it's a shim!" why don't you think about your reaction to a similarly dehumanizing joke about your oppressed group?
The next time you promote someone, a feminist even, who is unabashedly cissexist without mentioning it, why don't you think about how you'd feel if someone promoted a racist or a misogynist or a homophobe without acknowledging their bigotry?
Or is it differreent because they've empowerfulized you sooo much?!
I'm going to try to focus more on trans* issues, rather than cis* feminists' issues with trans*folk. I've actually made it so that I cannot read mAndrea's blog anymore. No really, I have a firefox add-on, leechblock, that lets you block certain sites. I've blocked mAndea's 24/7/365 and made it impossible to change the options. Her site is just inane and soul-crushing, her posts don't even make sense (illogical I might call them). It's like reading any other complete bigot; much of it is just plain wrong, but there are part that are just so horrible I lose all hope for humanity (trans*women want to be raped--she and KA are feminists?).
I hope more folks focus on the real issues instead of apologizing for cissexism or ignoring trans* issues entirely.
I actually have a set of posts planned, I have to finish reading Transgender History, on either/both trans* history and trans* (s)heroes and allies (possibly Sylvia Rivera, Reed Erikson, Magnus Hirschfeld, etc). I also have a post on monsters and monstrous beings/creatures (which is sorta related to being trans*--we are perceived/made to be inhuman monsters), but I either have to get the courage to post the current and very personal version or edit it.
I haven't posted much for a mixture of personal issues, busyness, and depression.
Currently, it looks like I'll be able to go to Camp Trans and I want to do a post about my experience there and another on trans* community(s).
*((((({insert} [more] {{{parenthesis}}} [here]))))))*
I want to write on growing up trans*. On navigating this cissexist world. I want to have the energy to look at my own internalized cissexism. I want to go over and add/edit my definitions post. I want to look at the REAL ID act and discuss how thats going to fuck us over; maybe help find loopholes or just tell other trans*folk what they are. I want to write a post about the intersections of my trans* and my queer identities, without worrying that someone is going to think that they are somehow the same or stemming from the other.
I can't do this when I focus on the hate of those who should be allies. I can't get up the energy when I'm so bogged down in feminist/progressive/liberal cissexism.
I want to do some posts/linkfarms on racism, ableism, sex worker's rights advocacy, etc. Maybe even try my hand at writing something from an ally's perspective or trying to look at the intersections a bit.
I doubt I'll ignore the topic completely, but I'm going to try to focus my trans* posts on actual trans* issues instead of someone else's castle in the clouds.
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