Kyute for Gauge and anyone else not feeling well:
Monday, August 18, 2008
Friday, August 15, 2008
Fucking Hell
I love how much privilege us trans* folk, especially trans* women get.
While so many of you radfems are trying to prove how m33n we are and how we are all liars and can't possibly be telling the twuth about ourselves and how you must know more about "trannyism" than us...
This SHIT was happening!
(Warning for triggers and RAGE)
Kellie Telesford's murderer, Shanniel Hyatt, was declared innocent because she must have killed herself in a kinky sex game and then covered herself with a blanket after he stole her stuff. trans* women, especially black trans* women, have magic powers and are all into kinky sex games! And even if he did kill her, she is a tranny and of color and into kink and probably a slutty whore and she deceived him, so obviously she deserved it. *sneer*
I just missed another anniversary of death.
A neighborhood is harassing sex workers, especially the trans* ones. Because obviously trans* sex workers create all sorts of crime, and they can totally go get high paying jobs with no fucking problem.
And on the radio and TV we have folks dehumanizing more trans* women!
Because Ange Zapata also deserved to her her head smashed in with a fire extinguisher.
And any trans* woman willing to go on TV deserves to get all the fucking tranny jokes you can think of thrown at her.
Zucker and other fucking quacks are being invited to speak on "GID" youth.
Because reparative therapy works so fucking well.
Vancouver Rape "relief" is proven to be fucking bigoted assholes.
I have to hold in my rage and tears. I can't scream and cry and break things.
I can't because I'm at home and I can't let my parents know how much danger being trans* is.
I can't let them worry that much.
Here is my dirty little secret:
I want to put on my most angry music and destroy something.
I want those super powers I've been told we use to destroy feminism.
I want to fly to Shanniel Hyatt's home and destroy him.
I want to hear my metal-enclosed fist break Anthony Tyrone Biscoe's face.
I would like to tear Adrian Williams' mind to shreds and watch him gibber in a corner.
I want to watch the blood flow after I cut Allan Ray Andrade's throat.
And I am not all that violent of a person; vegetarian and anti-war and all.
Where is our super hero?
Where can I find out masked crusader?
How long till we get our Bruce Wayne, or even our Magneto?
Because we don't get justice.
We get told we deserved it.
If the police won't help us, if they take part in raping and killing us, it seems like we will need to make our own justice.
And I am beyond pissed off right now.
ETA: Just remember straight and/or cis*folks, you don't have to be queer or trans* to be killed by a heterosexist/transphobic person.
Tuesday, August 12, 2008
Camp Trans is made of win
As I said before, CT was awesome.
Michfest is no longer it's main thing, though certainly its still important to CT. The "WBW"(such a BS phrase) policy is pretty much unenforced and it seems like the majority of festies either don't care if trans* women are there or want trans* women there. In fact, some festies who left early left their wristbands with CT for trans* women to get in and another festy donated money for tickets for trans* women. I missed the days we walked the line, but I heard that reception was mixed which is pretty normal. Though there were some folks that didn't talk to any negative people at all.
The mtf-spectrum folks who went to fest all had a good time, they even hosted a workshop on ENDA. One woman I talked to said that one festie she had spoken with in the line recognized her and came over and said hi and was very glad that she had made it into fest.
There was some bad news. A fest van crashed and, while I'm not sure about details, apparently one fest goer died. When we learned of this, as a community, we immediately decided to get flowers and bring them to the gates. So the next day folks donated money and a few campers went to town to get the flowers. According to those that brought the flowers, the gate keepers were very grateful and I guess there were tears and hugs all around.
Getting back to CT...
I was completely in love with the trans*-centric space there. When we introduced ourselves we gave both our names and our preferred pronouns. Everyone I spoke to respected the gender identities of the others. I can't really put into words how awesome this felt.
It was literally the first time I ever felt really, really safe and not on the defensive in regards to my gender. It was the first time I felt that complete strangers would respect my maleness without me having to hide my transsexuality.
It was just utterly amazing to go somewhere and not second-guess myself and distrust the folks around me (in regards to my gender).
There were all sorts of genders represented; people who identified within the traditional binary to people who couldn't fit into it if they tried. There were butch mtf-spectrum folks; fem ftm-spectrum folks (besides me, though I wasn't feeling all that fem while I was there); and all sorts of flavors of androgynous folks. There were people who didn't use pronouns; some who didn't care what pronouns you used; there were folks who got very offended (rightfully so) if you didn't use the right pronouns.
And there wasn't any excuse for using the wrong pronouns; not only did folks introduce themselves with their pronouns, but it was perfectly acceptable and welcome to ask someone which they prefer. And I say this as someone who did accidentally use the wrong pronouns a few times; and I too don't have any excuse--all I could do was apologize and work to not fuck up again.
But yeah, just being around so many awesome trans* folk and making friends with them and really finally understanding that I'm not alone was just amazing. I really recommend going if you are trans*--especially if you don't know a lot of trans* folk yet. Though obviously only go if you are able to respect all trans* folk. *glares at the HBS folks*
Allies are of course welcome, but this is a, especially a mtf-spectrum, trans*-centric space.
And while I think mtf-spectrum folks were under represented, it wasn't nearly as bad as it used to be and there were a ton of totally awesome mtf-spectrum folks there. *waves at Cedar, Veronica, and everyone else*
There was also a lot of work on becoming better about class, race, disabilities, etc. It was sort of interesting because along with the folks who were in college and/or were rich enough to take a week long vacation, there were a lot of up who just didn't have a steady job or school who were able to come because we got rides or whatnot.
There weren't that many POC, but CT is working on trying to both be a more supportive and anti-racist place as well as reaching out to trans* people of color.
CT is also becoming pretty good about people with disabilities. We had an accessible porta poty this year. As well as folks who signed up to help with stuff like putting up/taking down tents for those who need help, carrying gear, etc. They also have a generator for things like power chairs.
There was also a great medic tent that anyone could go to. They had an herbalist, EMTs, and even a doctor for a bit. They did everything from advising about alternative treatments for long term things to removing ticks to giving folks their hormone shots.
There were also Advocates at most workshops and there was always at least one on duty and sober. They acted as amateur counselors, drama mediators, shoulder to cry on, etc.
I need an advocate now I think, I'm having a hard time writing this post because I want so badly to be back.
The workshops I went to were great. We had all kinds of workshops; serious ones like Accountability, fun ones like Ropes Bondage and Trans* bodies, identity-based ones like Genderqueer Caucus, and all sorts of others.
I attended one informative one about trans* and queer identities and science. An awesome festie ran it, she's a biologist and had all sorts of info and studies that apparently prove that queer, intersex, and trans* identities (at least regarding subconscious sex, gender isn't so concretely proven) are natural (I'm not a scientist and I didn't get a chance to read them through, so I can't say if they do prove anything). We exchanged emails and she got my url, so maybe she'll show up to comment sometime. It was amusing, when I mentioned my "how I experience trans*ism" post she seemed really interested in reading it. I guess my phantom limb syndrome really makes sense in her theory (something to do with the lymph system or something, I can't remember)[ETA: In comments she said it was the ancient mammalian limbic system of the brain, not the lymph system--I is SMRT].
The food was also really, really good. I need to get a hold of the vegan garlic potato soup we had for myself and I think my mom would like the vegan borst (though I'm not a fan of cooked carrots or beets, it was good).
Helping in the kitchen was a lot of fun. The kitchen princess (she's in charge of the kitchen and cooking) was really cool and workshifts were a useful and fun way to get to know more folks.
And you got extra helpings and/or treats for helping in the kitchen (cooking or dishes).
I don't remember how much I've talked about my depression or my current situation here in public, but I think CT will be the goal that gets me through. Not only do I have to goal to get to CT next year, but I hope to be in a place where I can work on various issues at CT.
Like I think that once I've started T, camp will be the perfect place to work on my nudity issues (CT is a very body-accepting place, but I just won't be able to work on certain body issues until I get on T). And I think that if I don't take on too much and keep my eyes on next August I could get through a school year okay, which means that I would have access to health care, which means I could go to an endo and get some vitamin T. I am waiting on my bf to see about possibly living somewhere outside of MI with him, but I think I will be able to deal if I do have to live in MI for a bit. Before I couldn't have dealt with that.
Even this year at CT, with all the problems I have currently, I was able to work on my confidence some while I was there, just by being there with such great people.
In less than a week I feel like I've healed and grown so much thanks to the wonderful folks I met there and the wonderful folks who put CT together these past few years.
And if anyone has any questions about CT feel free to ask. I'll answer what I can. ^.^
PS: CT friends should feel free to comment here or on my LJ (friend me to, I still read my friends page) at any time, I miss you all already. ^.^
ETA: [Removed because I'm not giving them energy]
ETA2: *waves to festies*
Hey, I hope you like my blog; theres a bunch of trans* 101 links to the side if you are interested. My friends who went to fest said it was a lot of fun! I'm glad you all have fun, personally. And I do support women-only space; I just support women-only space that includes all women.
CT was amazing and free (in more ways than one), maybe I'll see you all next year!
Monday, August 11, 2008
He's Back!
So I'm back from Camp Trans.
It was totally made of awesomesauce. I cannot wait to go back and I wish it could have lasted waaay longer. I am definitely going to do a write up in a bit, but right now I am really tired (first shower and comfy chair in a week) and I'm semi-catching up on the internets. I'm just reading my favorites and skimming a lot; at CT I used up all my alloted excitement and energy for the time being. ^.^
I met sooo many completely rad folks and I hope to get to know them better in the coming year(s).
I am just so happy to have gone. Not only was it a fun place where I met great people, but it was incredibly healing. This was the first time, other than a bit online, that I could discuss really personal trans* related stuff or even stuff that was not directly related to me being trans*, but is still impacted by it, and have a group of people nod and tell me that what I experienced/felt/did/etc was completely natural. Even though many of our experiences and/or identities were very different, we supported and cared for and respected each other so much.
It was just so amazing; yes, there were problems and whatnot, but it was still just so amazing. It was so great, but now I am completely exhausted, and it isn't even 9pm, I can't write much more than that at the moment.
Wednesday, August 6, 2008
Tuesday, August 5, 2008
Waiting
So, since my sister is ill and my mom doesn't want to drive back alone from dropping me off, I have to wait to go to Camp trans till the morrow. No, I don't drive. Trust me, you don't want me driving, we would all die.
But yeah, that means no internet for a few days. Yay Camp Trans! ^.^
I was commenting on the F Word, but I bowed out because I thought I was leaving.
I can be quite mean when I want to be (just ask my sister); why should I comment there if I am told I was too mean when I wasn't even trying? Perhaps I just have a tougher hide since I'm used to the snark comms on LJ; Rachel should be happy it was me commenting and not Drea. Drea would have made her cry. ^.^ I <3 style="font-weight: bold;">am quite mean and I need to improve my tone.
Apparently, calling a trans* woman by nongendered pronouns when it is quite obvious she identifies as a woman and uses female pronouns (everyone uses female pronouns for her; it isn't hidden) is not sufficient evidence of a commenter's disrespect. Apparently, many people believe that if an oppressed person is too mean, those in the oppressive group don't have to care or listen; oppressed people must beg appropriately for our rights. If we are too mean, if we don't use the proper tone, we aren't deserving of rights or being listened to. (go greased lighteningwite magik, go wite magik!)
What I was reading and what I think you should read.
Message Received, by Woman.
"Even if it turns out that trans people provide scientific proof that gender is something that exists as a real biological phenonmenon rather than a strictly social construct, feminism remains intact. Sexism and the resulting oppression of women is a social construct, because it is founded on the idea that gender is a binary with proscribed behavioral expectations for either side. Transgenderism simply provides another dimension to the ideology of feminism: the fascinating idea that gender is far more complex than binaries.
...
There really isn’t any good reason not to allow trans women into feminist women-only safe spaces if they identify as women, only fears that the patriarchy gives us, and we have far more reason to reject that then we do to deny the inclusion of trans people whose fundamental premise (again, when you really listen) is a rejection of the patriarchal definition of gender."
Sweden is proposing to make sterilization mandatory for all trans* people who wish to medically transition. What was that we were saying about how horribly trans* people are treated by doctors? Honestly, medical questions are the most common questions to be asked in many of the trans* forums I read. Not only questions with finding decent doctors, finding therapists who won't turn you away, but asking questions that their doctors can't answer because they don't know or care about trans* health. Asking, because they may be afraid of even going to a doctor, if x symptom could be a result of their hormones; even if they aren't afraid of doctors they may be afraid that their doctor will take away their hormones. BTW, Nick Gorton's free book is recommended for learning about trans*men's health.
Its the Trans Agenda!!!
Debi Crow on Angie Should Still be Here. (fyi, women-only commenting)
"The point I am going to make is a simple one: Angie Zapata's life, and her murder, are just as important, equally as important as those of the 2 women a week who die in this country[the UK] at the hands of husbands, boyfriends, or male relatives. Just as important. And the women here dying every week are just as important, equally as important as Angie Zapata, and all the other trans women and men who are murdered for being trans.
...
And if you are a feminist who is concerned about the epidemic of male violence against women, but do not think that the death of a trans woman is that important, or anything you need to concern yourself with, you are not only lost, but also wrong."
More from Debi, the roma are being horrifically persecuted. Now the government is trying to mandate finger printing to control "thieves" and "immigrants".
A Letter to Kyle Payne from Outis.
I left a comment on his site, but he deleted it. I basically told him that Ren and the other "pro-porners" in the "smear campiegn" are better feminists than he is; given that he's raped a woman and all.
BFP thinks on how Angie is Latina, will this be used as another excuse to let Andrade off? Was this another reason Andrade felt she was less than human?
"Angie’s murderer may have assaulted her to find out if she was a ‘real’ woman–but he listened to her name, the way she spoke, he noticed her skin color, the clothes she wore–and ALL of those things, along with whatever he thought he felt or didn’t feel when he assaulted Angie, came together in his mind to create “it”–a thing worthy of murder, a thing nobody would care about if she came up missing."
Unfortunately, very, very true. Trans* women of color, especially if they are poor or are sex workers, are the ones most often killed and beaten and raped. Race, trans* status, her gender as a woman, her actual or supposed job as a sex worker, her class, these all an more come together to create a nonhuman in the eyes of the kyriarchy.
Ren's feeling better! Hopefully she won't scar and can get back to work soon. ^.^
She also has another list of folks writing on Payne.
Belle has written on Angie and how London Pride called for back-up against the trans* women who just wanted to take a piss. Later, one trans* woman was sexually assaulted after she was forced to use the mens bathrooms.
I haven't had time to read it yet, but Julia Serano published an article in Alternet (apparently, the comments are disgusting though).
I'm a little wary of linking to theFword due to how the tone argument got thrown at me and Emily, but I really like this post. Laura's rethinking her devotion to the "gender is entirely a social construct" theory. Personally, I think it is obvious that she still is against sexism and rigidly defined gender roles. Most trans* people are too you know. Rigidly defined gender roles need to be banished; genders should not have any scripted roles, especially not ones that are enforced with violence. We need to separate gender from assigned sex, gender and sex from gender roles, gender from orientation, etc. Trans* people are not inherently in the way of this (some individuals are of course, but then so are many cis* folks).
Miss Crip Chick's entire front page is interesting and awesome.
Saturday, August 2, 2008
Triggers: Angie, may you rest in peace with those who respect you
One of the phrases that google sends my way the most is "too fucking easy". It links to a post where I linked to someone's essay on how easy it is to kill a trans*person. My post is about both Sanesha Stewart and Cameron McWilliams; she was murdered for being trans* and sie was a possibly trans* child who killed hirself.
Since then, and I have been lax about reporting, Ebony Whitaker and Angie Zapata have both been brutally murdered for the great crime against humanity--being trans*.
Angie's killer, Allen Ray Andrade, is going to use the "trans panic" defense; aka, it tricked me and so I had to kill it.
Trans*people, especially trans*women of color who might be prostitutes, are not worthy of life. And when they touch you, the murderer, or worse--someone finds out they actually touched you, you have to destroy them.
You, murderer, can't just kill, not, you have to destroy them as much as possible.
Then, after they are dead and gone, you, all, have to dehumanize them and disrespect their very being.
You, the media, just have to use their old name; and if they changed it, you still call their real name an 'allius' or a 'nickname'.
You, the courts and police, just have to ignore the evidence and never bother searching for the killer. If you deign to look, you let him off with barely a slap. And everyone, and I mean just about everyone, ignores it; business as usual; no one of any real importance, no person, was killed or anything.
Fuck that noise.
Angie was 18. Eight-teen.
Why the fuck is someone so young in the morgue? Why is she in the ground, when she had just barely begun to live her life (not lifestyle).
She's barely more than a child...
And fuck everyone that says she should have known, shouldn't have been meeting folks off the internet, shouldn't have "deceived" him, shouldn't have led him on, shouldn't have worn that short skirt.
As I said in a LJ comm, the reason why we are told we have to disclose is cissexism. Obviously, one part if that is that if we don't disclose we could be attacked if they find out. We are "supposed" to disclose in a safe place where they can't murder us.
But the reason why we are attacked is because we "lied".
We duped.
We fooled.
We messed with your assumptions.
We are assumed to be cis* (and not intersexed).
I blame the entire concept of "we have to disclose" on cissexism.
The main reason we have to disclose is that the other person(s) assume that we are cissexual (as well as not intersexed).
Because they assumed we were a cissexual person, they assumed they knew what our genitals basically look like (and what they used to look like).
When they find out their assumption is wrong, it is suddenly our fault they assumed something incorrect.
Therefore, cis* privilege and cis*-centered thought says that we were lying/deceiving/fooling an innocent person and that we need to disclose to be "honest" with someone. (can you see my sneer at the word honest?)
It would be unthinkable to accuse a cis*guy of deceiving someone when they assumed he was circumcised when he was actually not.
It's perfectly alright to have a preference for certain genital configurations. But it is your own fault if you forget to ask and find out your assumption was wrong.
And your hurt feelings are never an excuse to hurt someone else; a polite "no thanks, I'm more into xyz" would suffice.
In the perfect world no one would have to disclose; no one would assume you were cis*; everyone would, when negotiating sex and/or relationships, bring up their genital configuration as a matter of course.
I keep trying to put into words what Angie's death means.
What knowing another sister is gone forever feels like.
How I'm sure her friends and family already feel her loss.
I can't.
I'm no great poet.
But Angie, Ebony, Sanesha, Gwen, Brandon, Tyra, Robert, and all the people whose names we never knew, but nonetheless mourn, will be remembered.
Friday, August 1, 2008
Are you listening?
An open letter to cis feminists
Stop fucking up.*
I have complained numerous times that the feminist blogosphere, such as it is, has one main conversation about trans people, one that is returned to again and again and again - the political implications of our transitioning. Click here if you want yet another example of pointless bloody "analysis."
I don't CARE about whatever horrible thing some feminist has said anymore. I care that these discussions centre on cis concerns, even (maybe especially) allies respond mostly to the slurs, but rarely address the real issues.
Now, if you want to have those conversations, here's an idea. Subject yourself to the same kind of analysis. Honestly interrogate if and how you might have more or less privilege than trans people. And no, for the millionth time, trans women are not the fucking Patriarchy.
Or how bout this for an idea. Spend some actual time and energy on trans issues. Here is one thing you are barely talking about - the continual violence against transgendered people for being transgendered.
Blog about Angie Zapata. Blog about Ebony Whitaker. Blog about Sanesha Stewart (to name just three trans women murdered this year).
Try subjecting all that torturous analysis to something actually useful - how violence against trans people occurs. Try thinking about the fact that it is overwhelming trans women of colour being murdered. Try thinking about the intersections between race, transness, misogyny and sex work.
Try writing about the way that institutions collude with this violence - that medical professionals may willingly leave you to die, that police may not prosecute, that lawyers use "trans panic" as a defence to justify the death, and then to add insult to injury, the media effectively blames the dead person for their own deaths AND misgenders them.
And for fuck's sake, don't blame the fucking victims.
I DARE YOU.
* if this doesn't apply to you, then it doesn't apply to you.
So far, a fair number of folks have linked or posted on this too.
I have to admit, I do sometimes focus on the concerns of cis*feminists. It is easier to spork the latest Trans Activist Privilege Checklist instead of writing on how insurance and hospitals refuse to treat us or, if they deign to look at us, give us subpar care. It does feel like it is easier (and cheaper) to change the minds of cis* feminists than cis* politicians.
I also don't like covering the latest deaths/beatings because a) its depressing (gods is it depressing) b) there are never any respectful, decent articles and c) they are never ending. You post on one death/beating and a few days later theres another.
I just can't deal with it; and I feel so wrong for not being able to since I'm not the one whose existence was destroyed.
(Disclaimer: if it don't apply to you, then it don't fucking apply)
I am getting so tired of trans* 101. I am so over "justify your existence to meee!!!"
I want to be able to have a post on TDoR without fucking cis*people stating or telling us they have issues with "transgender politics". I want to be able to x-post or read a trans*-related post on a "general" feminist or progressive forum or blog or LJ comm without rampant cissexism in the comments.
I would really like to go one month without any beatings or rapes or murders of trans*folk. Just one month where we are all considered human and worthy of respect.
Why the fuck do trans* folks have to justify our existence, have to prove that we and our gender identity deserve respect?
Why, when we point out that X cis*feminist has written and worked against us, are we told that we should "put that aside" because she has done "so much for [cis*]women"? Why do we have to bring it up, why can't we focus on the real issues.
Why do I have to have a disclaimer so that I don't hurt the feelings of some poor cis*person? Hellsbells, even if we do put up a disclaimer poor, put-upon, cis*folks will still get all butthurt.
Well, why the fuck can't you just listen? Just shut up and listen. That's what members of the privileged group are supposed to do. I shut up when sex workers talk, when people with disabilities talk, when people of color talk.
When trans* people talk, cis* folk are supposed to listen!
And no, I don't fucking care if you disagree with "trans politics" and therefore aren't cis*--only normal or FAB or whatever (though I do think you can go fuck a lead post).
There are no "trans agendas," no "transgender politics," no "trans lobby."
There is no reason for you to "deconstruct" transgender--the kyriarchy already does it with every murder.
The next time you laugh at a tranny joke, "is it a him or a her? no, it's a shim!" why don't you think about your reaction to a similarly dehumanizing joke about your oppressed group?
The next time you promote someone, a feminist even, who is unabashedly cissexist without mentioning it, why don't you think about how you'd feel if someone promoted a racist or a misogynist or a homophobe without acknowledging their bigotry?
Or is it differreent because they've empowerfulized you sooo much?!
I'm going to try to focus more on trans* issues, rather than cis* feminists' issues with trans*folk. I've actually made it so that I cannot read mAndrea's blog anymore. No really, I have a firefox add-on, leechblock, that lets you block certain sites. I've blocked mAndea's 24/7/365 and made it impossible to change the options. Her site is just inane and soul-crushing, her posts don't even make sense (illogical I might call them). It's like reading any other complete bigot; much of it is just plain wrong, but there are part that are just so horrible I lose all hope for humanity (trans*women want to be raped--she and KA are feminists?).
I hope more folks focus on the real issues instead of apologizing for cissexism or ignoring trans* issues entirely.
I actually have a set of posts planned, I have to finish reading Transgender History, on either/both trans* history and trans* (s)heroes and allies (possibly Sylvia Rivera, Reed Erikson, Magnus Hirschfeld, etc). I also have a post on monsters and monstrous beings/creatures (which is sorta related to being trans*--we are perceived/made to be inhuman monsters), but I either have to get the courage to post the current and very personal version or edit it.
I haven't posted much for a mixture of personal issues, busyness, and depression.
Currently, it looks like I'll be able to go to Camp Trans and I want to do a post about my experience there and another on trans* community(s).
*((((({insert} [more] {{{parenthesis}}} [here]))))))*
I want to write on growing up trans*. On navigating this cissexist world. I want to have the energy to look at my own internalized cissexism. I want to go over and add/edit my definitions post. I want to look at the REAL ID act and discuss how thats going to fuck us over; maybe help find loopholes or just tell other trans*folk what they are. I want to write a post about the intersections of my trans* and my queer identities, without worrying that someone is going to think that they are somehow the same or stemming from the other.
I can't do this when I focus on the hate of those who should be allies. I can't get up the energy when I'm so bogged down in feminist/progressive/liberal cissexism.
I want to do some posts/linkfarms on racism, ableism, sex worker's rights advocacy, etc. Maybe even try my hand at writing something from an ally's perspective or trying to look at the intersections a bit.
I doubt I'll ignore the topic completely, but I'm going to try to focus my trans* posts on actual trans* issues instead of someone else's castle in the clouds.
Friday, July 25, 2008
Thursday, July 17, 2008
Yeah, just more links
Plastics and other commonly-used chemicals may be responsible for early puberty (as in 14-month old babies and 7 year old girls). I already don't eat meat and try to use soaps without chemicals in them...but I know its impossible to get away from them all.
Kate Bornstein on WALL-E. I <3 loneliness, WALL-E, and being trans*.
(I got both links from Helen).
Queen Emily is guestposting on Lisa's blog; she's doing an awesome job looking at common cissexist/transmisogynist tropes. So far, "You're really just a man/woman" and "patriarchal privilege" are up; and the comments are pretty good too imo.
London Pride shouldn't be proud of how they treated (and their non-apology) trans*women. At Pride, trans*women were barred from using the women's restrooms. The stewards called the police on them and the police demanded their gender recognition certificates. WTF.
The People's History of the American Empire (video).
Debs did a "Rape News Round-up".
And now I want to get a few of these books...
Bint Alshamsa tells us not to call her "differently abled".
Measure of Medication from Gehenna.
Over at Radical Masculinity there is a call for discussion about creating healthy models of masculinity. The posts sie (?) links to are very good reading (one of which is a critique of Robert Jenson's views on masculinity, the other is on butch identity and ableism). I highly recommend a lot of the posts on RM; Genderqueer Genders in Society and Masculine Privilege Without Male Privilege? are two great ones.
Also, if I'm still in MI I really want to go to Camp Trans. Is anyone else going?
Type rest of the post here
Saturday, July 12, 2008
To All the Real Christians
I have no memory of where I got this picture (I'd give credit if I could), but I named it "christbeatendefendingqueer"--that would be "christ beaten defending queer"--when I saved it.
My mind went directly to this picture when I read this story.
A young trans*woman was attacked by four teens: Tyreek Childs, 17; Trevaugn Payne, 16; Shara Mozie, 17, and a 15-year-old whose name was not released because of his age.
This isn't all that uncommon, unfortunately.
What is uncommon is that the priest who runs the shelter the woman lives in came out, along with other residents, and drove the boys away. And then when the guys came back with their metal pipes and paint cans, Father Braxton tried to reason with them, tried to get them to leave.
He was beaten for his care, of course. So were two of the residents who came to his rescue.
Luckily, Tyreek, Trevaugn, Shara, and the unnamed were picked up by police and are looking at actual charges.
This is what real Christians would do, protect the week and the oppressed.
Don't believe me? Read the fucking gospels.
I am not a Christian, but my parents are and so I went to bible school and read the bible. Back in middle and high school I went through and read a fair amount of it.
When the priests come to Jesus and try to trick him, they ask him what the most important commandment is.
His answer? Love God and love your neighbor as you love me.
Your 'neighbor' is anyone and everyone; no matter their creed or nationality or any other distinction.
Folks like:
Fred Phelps, Exodus International, George W. Bush, The Catholic Church (the organization, not all catholics), and these boys?
Not acting like Christians.
I don't care what your beliefs are.
But when you use your beliefs as an excuse to attack, murder, and rape people...
When you use those beliefs as an excuse to make it near impossible for us to get legal jobs, to find housing, to go to school, to get medical attention...
Then I do care. I care because you right to believe has interfered with others' right to live.
Making it impossible for us to live as ourselves, instead of some script we were slapped on the ass with, is just as bad in my opinion.
Maybe its just me, but I'd rather risk murder and assault because I'm living as myself than live trapped as someone else.
My first boyfriend was a real Christian. At the time, I admit I was very bitter towards Christians and Christianity and he helped me get over it.
He, I'll call him J, believed in Christ's most important commandment. He believed deeply that that commandment was the main way of being Christian and that all that other stuff--going to church to who you fucked--was not nearly as important.
Showing, no being, Christ's love for your fellows is how to be a Christian.
I dated J in the early part of my sophomore year of high school, right before I came out to myself (I'll talk about that in another post). He graduated at the end of that year and we lost touch of each other. So I have no idea what he'd think of me now, or what he'd think of my transition. Or that he's dated another guy. But I think he'd be happy that I'm finally coming into myself; that I'm not hiding and pretending like I used to.
I'm not a Christian, but I like Christ. I like his lessons and I think he was often right (not so much his followers). I hope any Christians reading this, who don't already know Christ's most important commandment, will take heed and follow it.
Or at least, think of it.
Think of His words when you call something gay or retarded instead of irritating. Think on them when you choose to hire a white/cissexual/male/hetero/etc person instead of an equally or more competent POC/trans*/female/queer/etc person. Remember His words when you ignore, or join in, the teasing of a queer/trans*/disabled/POC/etc.
When you come across a situation where someone is being hurt, think on what Christ would do.
Would he join in? Would he ignore it? Or would he put a stop to it? Or, would he help the person afterwards, whether giving a kind word or buying them lunch?
Even if you're not a Christian, think on what is the right action.
PS: Don't read the comments on the NYdaily website. Just don't.
Monday, July 7, 2008
3rd person is 3rd person
Kristopher went away to be hounded and guilt-tripped for several days nonstop, cut off from all his Important People.
Kristopher was already depressed and lonely and therefore did not need more bad energies.
Then Kristopher came back to find that there was drama everywhere. And not just where or how he expected it. Moreover, drama between people he sees as e-friends and bad drama in places he hoped to stay fun/good so that he could stay sane. >.<
Kristopher also found out he may be confined to MI for this Autumn--which is very, very, very, very, very...very bad.
Therefore, Kristopher will probably ignore the world and read fanfiction and World of Darkness rulebooks** nonstop for the next few days.
Somehow, he thinks isolation will fix loneliness and depression; whats the worst thing that could happen? It's not like he hasn't already tried this and had bad things happen as a result... oh wait...
Kristopher would very much like to cuddle and wrestle with his boyfriend as this makes everything look nicer; far, far away from their relatives would be nice too.
Unfortunately, Kristopher will only see the boyfriend when Kristopher is out of MI.
At least if Kristopher is in MI during August he might be able to go to Camp Trans. That would still be a maybe though, as that may be Too Much for parents to handle and gas is really expensive. (though he, unlike some *coughcoughheartcoughcough*, will not pass a collection plate so that he can go and buy handmade soaps and clothes)
PS: I remembered my first evar dream! I have never, ever, ever remembered a dream before. I thought I was magically unable to dream or something!
This dream? Totally a message, though of what I don't know; I need to talk about it with certain friends f mine who are better at spiritual stuffs than i am. Unfortunately, they have not been very reachable (computer died, they have jobs, etc) lately and so this may take a while. >.<
And can anyone tell I am trying to procrastinate against sleeping? Sleeping alone is boring and we hates it, yes precious we hates it.
Can someone teleport my boyfriend here for me? Cause then i could sleep and cuddle and wrestle; everything a growing boy needs...
**At least kristopher will find it useful for that monster post he has floating around in his head.
Tuesday, July 1, 2008
Up, Up, Away
I'm going to be offline for a little bit, seeing family out in the boonies. Seriously, there isn't even a landline at the house (luckily, there is plumbing and electricity; unless theres a storm).
Comments are going to be moderated while I'm gone to prevent trolling (to be fair, I have been poking at them recently).
To everyone else, sorry if your comment isn't seen for a bit, I'll approve comments when I get back. ^.^
Heres what I've been reading lately, mostly anti-racism type stuff:
The myth of reverse racism
Baby-Stepping away from racism, a guide for white folk.
And a link-roundup of other anti-racism guides and the like; unfortunately, I don't have time to read them all before leaving.
I've got a few books and game boy games to take with me so I shouldn't be too bored. ^.^
Maybe I'll finally get a chance to just sit down and read bell hook's Salvation: Black People and Love or Eliade's The Sacred and Profane... Maybe if I leave my fantasy/scifi at home I'll actually read them instead of just talking about reading them. >.<
Sunday, June 29, 2008
Moar Links Part 2
Meh, instead of reading stupid people, read these awesome posts:
There was a hearing on discrimination against trans*folk in the workplace.
Monica writes about how the hearing was nearly all white, as in there was one POC total. This sucks, but she's already said that and more.
Anti-racist groups finally respond to the beating of Ms. Johnson by officers McRae and Swain.
Data is awesome.
Theres more there, go read now.
Ren has something to say about anti-porn folks distributing porn to minors and Federal law 2257.
"Oh, and I am curious, are people CARDED before attending one of these events? Viewing the slideshow on line? If not, then anyone and everyone involved in this program is guilty of showing pornography to minors…oddly enough, John Stagliano is in court for such things… do the same laws not apply?"
Ren also takes on mAndrea's m00nlogic. Before answering folks questions about porn.
Ren is awesome.
SnowdropExplodes also takes on mAndea and her "logic' and "proofs".
I've added a couple things to my trans* 101/201 link list that you should check out. Theres a little bit on different definitions and ways to look at "gender". Julia Serano also wrote a nice piece on how calling gender a construct or performance is not helpful or useful.
I got them from Helen G, thanks!
Cara addresses the transphobia in feminism.
Daisy, as well as various commenters, have addressed Heart's "fight the lies" blog.
Shiva muses on disability hate crimes and why we don't look at them that way.
Little Light is thinking about olive trees (and no, it has nothing to do with the "feminist carnival").
I am also a dork. ^.^
ETA: Elly, if you're the same Elly commenting over at mAndrea's, I salute you!
While I doubt mAndrea will listen, perhaps a few of her commenters/lurkers might. You are great!
Friday, June 27, 2008
Perception
Everyone wants me to be something.
They all have some view of who or what I am or should be.
How I should act. Why I am who I am.
Most don't believe me when I say I know who and what I am.
They tell me I'm wrong, that I'm really w, x, y and not Me.
Many folks tell me they know why I am who I am.
I don't really know the whys, yet I can tell that theirs aren't true and are harmful to many.
My dad just thinks what I am is a phase. I suppose that's true. After all, when I die I won't be a man anymore but a spirit instead and who knows about my next life--I could be anything.
I don't think that's what he means though.
My mom thinks it's her fault; that she did something wrong to make me a man.
I don't see why it's so bad, so wrong, to be a man, to be transsexual.
My friends don't see anything wrong with me. They don't try to figure out why I'm a man anymore than they try to figure out why any of our other friends are men or women. They might think about what made them who they are, but it's different to look at yourself.
My cis*male boyfriend just sees the man he's in love with; I'm just shaped a bit differently than he is.
The religious riech tells me I'm a pervert, confused, and disordered. That I need to be made into a submissive, straight, Christian woman.
mAndrea, KA, Thebewilderness, Janice Raymond, and others like them think I'm a pervert, a traitor, disordered, or deceiving myself. That I need to make myself into an andro or masculine political lesbian,
But when I look at myself, I see a man, a geeky man. A man who is pretty sure of who he is, growing surer all the time, and trying to find his place in the world.
I see a guy who happens to mostly like other men, who likes weaving, reading, and making jewelry.
A man who likes feeling the Earth and hir energy; who will go outside when it's storming to feel the wind against his face.
A man who is in love with a great guy who is in love with him back.
I see a man who often feels invisible and misplaced in the world, but who is slowly learning to speak out and carve a place for himself.
And looking at me are the men I might become. The better men are coming closer all the time and the lesser men are fading from view.
I won't bow out and hide myself away again. I won't bow to the pressure of others and become a shadow of a man pretending to be a girl.
I won't listen when they say they know who I am and who I should be. I will ignore or laugh and ridicule those who presume to speak for me without listening.
I don't care why I am who I am; but I will tell you when your theories are wrong or harmful.
I will be supported by my boyfriend and friends and loved ones I have yet to meet; they see the man I am and the men I might be. I will follow my heart and soul and mind to where I should be.
Being myself and speaking my truths, no matter how they harm your theories, will do more for the universe and it's peoples than fading away and letting the minds and needs of others control me.
Thursday, June 26, 2008
Meme BreakEmily
Emily tagged me for a meme, so I can take a break from t3h stupid for a bit. ^.^
8 random things about me:
1) I 'talk' to my cats. I can meow, growl, and make other various noises and can have 'conversations' with them. And not just my cats, I do this with stranger cats too. The neighbor's cat likes me, I chat with him and he seems to like me--he tried to get me to hang out under the car with him before it rained one day. ^.^
2) I dislike the water, yet there are a few situations where I love it. Swimming in large lakes/the ocean when it's storming is one of the few times I like the water.
3) I'm a vegetarian, yet one of my favorite things about eating baby carrot sticks is that I like to imagine they are bones I'm snapping and chewing on.
4) My parents disagree, but my bf and I think I may have broken a rib as a child because not only is one rib shaped oddly/sticking out weird but I sometimes have a hard time breathing (not asthma though).
5) I love peach soda; both Faygo brand and those Japanese bottles with the marbles brand.
6) I love walking barefoot--even in the city. I can handle walking on pavement and gravel as well as soft surfaces like sand and mud.
7) My music tastes range from death metal (Dethklok) to disney songs (Stand Out--A Goofy Movie).
8) I hate cut lawns. Grass should grow to at least my knees and have a bunch of other plants mixed in. Cut lawns look like shit imo.
Should they choose to accept it, I tag anyone who wants to.
Wednesday, June 25, 2008
Appleseeds!
So, given that I have seen some interest in this and she's been linked to in a feminist carnival (I'll link to this response instead because t3h awesomeness), I'm going to address and/or snark (whichever works) Miss Andrea's "Deconstructing Transgenderism" posts and comments. Seriously, she leaves these comments all over; reminds me of the rabbit shit left all over when you don't train them to use the litterbox.
Warning, this post will contain snark, condenscendationz, speaking in lolcat and 1337, geeky references, and some actual logic-not moonlogic. I will not be nice. I am not obliged to answer or refute every little thing Andrea says, especially as much of it is illogical and/or based off of strawtrannies. Moreover, I and other trans*folk have answered it all before.
Hopefully, trans*folks and our friends and allies can find my snarking amusing; hopefully my head won't plode from the fail. Yes, plode; my head could explode or implode, the fail is that high.
Hokay, so, heres the earth...oh wait, rong, its da m00n.
Here's the first post (no technorati ratings for you! http://feminazi.wordpress.com/2008/01/15/no-really-im-evil-transgenderism-preliminaries/), where she links to a nice post on the fword. Hey, it's on my trans* 101/201 links! Nifty.
Then she starts on about how she's addressing the "broader philosophical concept" and not individuals, but we'll see that she completely fails at this.
Next she starts talking about how some parts are not the whole and how feminists need to learn this and I sit and think she needs to practice what she preaches, but what the hell do I know? I'm a tranny, therefore retardedz and disorderedz. Somehow this ties into crying girls and pity shields against deconstruction... I think Andrea needs to go back and learn how to organize paragraphs and sentences; and the definition of 'logical' and 'argument'. I'm not the only one that thinks so, so it's not just my reading abilities; and I can make sense of Eliade and Tolkien and the like! I is smart: SMRT!
Oh look, now she's talking about how we can either look at the larger issue or make it about you and we can't have both.
So if I'm discussing how women (trans* & cis*) are treated shitty compared to cis*men, y'all can't give personal examples? Oh, and now apparently it's impossible to talk about someone, their experiences, and/or feelings without being mean. OK, the next time I discuss what it's like to be trans* I'll keep this in mind--by talking about me I've made it okay to call me a retard and a liar. Makes total logical sense; moonlogic that is.
And just as "freshly raped" person shouldn't argue about rape, freshly transitioned folks shouldn't argue about trans*ism. Yesh, this makes t0t4l s3ns3! 0, and that phrase, "freshly raped", is a direct quote. *headdesk*
Ya Rly, leik t0ta11y wh0a.
This post is all rather rambling and doesn't seem to say much. Except, of course, lulz 2 c0me!eleventyone
Now, "Deconstructing Transgenderism Part One":
After some more rambling, we come to this bit of fun, "Unless I am mistaken, she[Twisty] likes transgendered folk for the same reason that most feminists seem to like them — they prove gender is fluid."
So, I know there are some folks out there that think that we prove gender is fluid and being trans* destabilizes the pat and all that jazz. I've met, liek, one person that thought this, but then maybe I just haven't been in the right groups. Julia Serano talks about this sort of thinking in Whipping Girl and I think she, as someone who has had experience with them, is better at refuting this than I could be. To summarize Ms Serano's points: this sort of thinking privileges 'subversive' genders and gender expressions over 'conventional' ones. Moreover, they often ungender trans*folk who identify within the man/woman binary.
And there are obviously leik no feminists who like us because, ya know, we're their friends/family/coworkers/etc. and we're human beings. And, ya know, they don't think they have sup4r mind reading p0wers to disprove what we say about ourselves.
Next she acts like all trans*folk transition 'all the way to the end' (whatev that means) and identify within the binary. [insert long and verbose screed about how not all trans*folk transition or identify within binary; check out my trans* 101 links if you need it]
Unfortunately, all her posts and comments that I've seen seem to think this, so yeah. She's leik, way behind trans* activism and theories and whatnotz. Sooo 1950's.
And then theres more ranting about how no one would transition if we didn't think certain traits were male and others female...And I sit here thinking about how if that was why I transitioned I did it in the wrong direction.
...and now theres more of that wonderful "penis to pick up a hammer" analogy (only now with more sodium!vaginas picking up vacuums!) I quoted before... Dear Gods, why? Why must you keep referencing tentacle monsters and hentai! I didn't bring it up, you and your commenters do! It's your porno mind, not mine!
NOT MY KINK! But give me Sam/Bee transformers pron anyday...
And now, slightly better, I get the picture of stereotypical!gay-man-who-thinks-he-must-transition going around in a vag' boutique choosing which one he wants...while he has a little dog in his purse. And for some reason he looks and acts like Carson from Queer eye...
plx, save me?
Noes! Cannot be sav3d, i must make my time
now there is old meme, we transition for fetish or cause we gay. old meme makes Snape take points from Gryffindor; now you lose house cup.
Lastly theres something or other about trans*women's tear-stained bits...
Again, not my kink...
But, I can't forget the comments! Noes, t3h comments are almost better than the post itself. Theres the: OMGz!!! Trannies are totally trannies because they like hentai!! All tranies leik t3h hentai!
OMGz, fetish! perverts! disorderz! rapeistez! schitzoes! OMGZ!!!!!!11111!eleventyoneoneOhNoes!
"I can has hentai?" says the strawtranny.
"I madez you a hentai, but radfems eated pastryarchy" says the sex pox feminist.
There, we learn from t3h genious KA, that we all gotz t3h fetish or t3h OCD. I guess I must has t3h OCD since I don't has t3h fetish. Maybe I catch the fetish from my trans* friends? Afterallz, I can't stand being left out; justt leik I am a man because of how manly I amz. *strikes a pose*
*trips on feather boa* oops, my slip is teh showing.
Sastuma yet again tells how real lesbians don't like sex or porn... Maybe she knows all the lesbians who bring up sex are actually mtf folks because of her clear-eyed lesbean gaze?
KA does a remix on the trans*women luurve being abused whores trope:
"It’s the rape and total control over a synthetic female body, giving him and any other man he includes full access to treating women the way they both love to fetishize treating women. They then strengthen the conditioned response to female parts with their misogynist sex.That’s why you see so many misogynists patronizing MtF prostitutes, and MtF prostitutes happy to do it. Sexist men look out for each other and will cooperate to control women’s bodies in any novel way they can think of."
Yes, KA and Andrea (she told KA she loved her comments and how true the are) are saying that trans*women like being raped. That they like being prostitutes because they like enacting abuse on "synthetic female bodies".
I cannot make a joke out of this. And on that note, I'm done for now. After I eat and do the dishes I'll do the third post and various comments in another post. The FAIL, especially that last bit I quoted, is making me literally sick.
ETA: mAndrea does believe in differences between the sexes!
Tuesday, June 24, 2008
meh
Hokay, so, I'm just going to direct y'all over to Transgriot because she's got a few awesome posts up (then again, when doesn't she?).
And I'm thinking about writing up a post snarking, fisking, or even attempting to refute this one self-identified feminazi's posts and comments on "transgenderism", but I don't know if I want to break my brain. Here is why this could very well break my poor wittle tranny-brain;
"Most transgendered will say that their goal isn’t to “do” any activity, they will say that they just “are” a certain way. Does this make sense? One is an activity that is “done”, the other is a state of being that “is”.
Let’s go through that, just to doublecheck:
You don’t need a penis to pick up a hammer. In other words, you don’t need a penis to “do”.
You don’t need a penis to think about hammers. In other words, you don’t need a penis to “think.”
You don’t need a penis to feel any emotion for hammers. In other words, you don’t need a penis to “feel”.
You don’t need a penis to feel or to not-feel any emotion at all.
Emotions are feelings. To feel an emotion is a state of “being”.
OOPS!! We just used logic to rule out their only explaination. The only explaination left is that it’s a fetish. After 30 years of having this conversation, they still can’t explain why it’s not a fetish."
Yeah...do you see how I could have a hard time translating this moonspeak?
And she talks about how logical she is and how illogical we trannies are; how we just keep trying to appeal to emotions and she doesn't and can't condone appealing to emotions and not logic... o.o
Yeah, apparently, disgust, anger, etc. (the emotions her posts/comments appeal to) aren't really emotions or are somehow logical.
...And now I am, for some reason, imagining a penis that is like an elephant's trunk picking up a hammer. DO NOT WANT
Hmmm, maybe later I'll just go through and make fun of the particularly stupid parts (like that gem above). I just honestly can't believe that she seriously thinks she's proving anything or acting logically. She's made a couple posts on "transgenderism", one of her commenters produced that wonderful idea that some trans*folk are only trans* because we have OCD about our genitals. And she trolled Lisa's blog with the same shit as she did on Anji's, just a bit less of it. BTW, I did answer the "prove it's not a fetish" meme in Lisa's comments. And then, since m andrea never came back, we started to chat about which super powers are better (shapeshifting FTW) among other things. ^.^
I've had friends that were very logical; one is so logical she intuits calculus. And when I explained trans*ism and me being a guy to her she basically went, "Huh, alright, that makes sense. Oh hey, can you find me some resources on asexuality? I have no idea where to even look."
ETA: I'm thinking I'll only do a post on m andrea's "logic" if folks are interested; theres no point in engaging unless I can at least make others laugh, cry, headdesk, etc. ^.^ So just tell me if you are, or are not, interested in reading such a post (though I doubt I will go too deep, I like what little sanity I have left).
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
