'Stupid assumptions' is redundant

"Intolerance is the most socially acceptable form of egotism, for it permits us to assume superiority without personal boasting."
"It's surprising how many persons go through life without ever recognizing that their feelings toward other people are largely determined by their feelings toward themselves, and if you're not comfortable within yourself, you can't be comfortable with others."
--Sydney J. Harris

There is a part of me that just can't let go of the idea that we transition to be straight and/or to conform to man=masculine/woman=feminine ideals.

With my knowledge of myself and other trans* folks, it just makes no sense.

This idea ignores genderqueer folks as well as other trans* folks who don't identify entirely as either a woman or a man.
It ignores queer trans* folk.
Theories that contain this idea ignore feminine ftm-spectrum folks and masculine mtf-folks.
The idea completely ignores androgynous trans* folks as well as others whose gender expression is neither masculine nor feminine.
And most of all, this idea erases all that we say about ourselves.

I absolutely hate refuting this idea/theory.
Because I find most simple answers are subversivist and/or ignore trans* folks who do not feel the need to transition.
Because I never remember to answer the base assumptions instead of the surface arguments.
This argument is so tired and old and has been used by everyone from transphobic queers to religious fundamentalists to transphobic feminists to social conservatives.

The assumption that masculinity is forever tied to 'man' and maleness and that femininity is forever tied to 'woman' and femaleness.
This theory assumes that there is something inherently sexual about being trans* or transitioning.
It assumes trans* and trans* folks are a monolithic group/ideology.
Proponents assume that there is something bad about being trans*, something horrible about transitioning. That no one would transition or be trans* if we didn't have to.

When for many trans* folk, being trans* is about their sex, being trans* is about their gender not fitting into either man or woman, being trans* is about their soul, being trans* is a very individual thing and is not easily explained, and there are so many ways of being trans*.
While many of us are sexual beings (just as many cis* people), we do not all view genitals as being inherently sexual.
There is a huge amount of diversity in the trans* communities; both in what 'trans' means to people and in our interests and views.
I am so glad that I am trans*; I feel like even if my life ends tomorrow, I will have grown so much in this life just from being trans* and meeting people through being trans*. I am not alone in this.
I felt so much more free after I was finally able to be out about being a guy. I feel so trapped in not being able to start T or get surgeries. I am not alone in this.
If there was a pill that would make me a cis*woman, I would refuse it. If there was a way for me to go back in time and make me a cis* person (woman or man), I would refuse it. If there was a way to make sure no trans* people would ever be born, I would fight against it. I am not alone in this.

If you listen to us, most trans* folks would not be helped by just getting rid of gender or getting rid of rigid gender/sex roles.
Try listening to us, we know that Jesus/Allah/Kali will not "fix" us if we just prayed more (God[s/ess] makes no mistakes, right?).
Listen and you'll know that ideology and talk therapy will not "cure" us.
Listen and you'll see that drugs and behavioral therapy do nothing to help us.
Listen; don't assume, listen.

For some of us, medical transition is a necessity for continued life and/or happiness.
For some of us, being able to have nongendered pronouns known and respected is necessary.
For some of us, unisex toilets are a temporary or permanent necessity.
For some of us, legal gender/sex markers need to be changed or done away with.
But for all of us, respect and acceptance and love are necessary.

This is the reality, the logical conclusions.