PETA is made of fail and racism (as well as ableism, transphobia, sexism, etc--check the Feministe comments). I recommend tweeting them to tell them how fucked up they are (@officialpeta)
Ren (and others) have been refuting a group of radfem's Thoughts On YaoiBDSM.
(btw, her epic comic post is pretty awesome- and this LJ comm is also fun)
Ginmar has some links for how you can help victims of he brushfires.
Recently, a Black man was posthumously exonerated for a crime he didn't commit--raping a White woman (this comment also has some great links).
I thought this post was very interesting, a genderqueer lesbian's thoughts on hir genitals and cultural messages about them (ugg, beware the cissexism in the comments though).
Georgia legislators are trying to get rid of Georgia Universities queer theory classes.
But here are some legislators doing the right thing: adding sexual orientation and gender identity to their local anti-discrimination laws. ^_^
Also, random tangent thingamajig...
Someone found my blog searching for "sexual magic blue pill "blogspot"" and then left a spam comment advertising viagra. The really, really weird thing is...the comment had good spelling and grammar. wtf world, wtf. o.0
(yes, I deleted it anyway)
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
yeah, moar links
Friday, December 19, 2008
What's in a name?
To many of us trans* people, names are important. Unlike most cis* people, we have to choose our names because the names we were given (forced on us?) are not suitable. Very rarely do our parents give us a name we can keep; so that when we tell someone our legal name we are either misgendered or outed immediately.
It seems like there is always a post about names in the general trans* forums I read; recently, there is one asking for names that do not easily get “misheard” and transformed from masculine to feminine.
Many transition guides and trans* resources have posts with tips on choosing names. All sorts of advice is given; don't choose names that are currently trendy (Aiden/Ayden/etc), ask your parents to help, find meanings you like...
Names have power.
I've read a lot of fantasy where magic can be performed by knowing a person or object's true name; where people or demons can be controlled or destroyed by those with their true name.
Here, names have the power to out, to get you extra “random security checks”, to color peoples' gendered perceptions of you, etc.
I'll be changing my name later this week.
To Kristopher [current middle name]-Rivera [lastname].
I didn't exactly choose Kristopher; my friends sometimes called me Ristopher after I started going by my nickname Riss. I'm not Christian, but I liked the name and I felt like Kristopher...suited me somehow. Even friendly acquaintances who didn't know I was questioning said that Kristopher suited me.
Both of my grandmas have the same middle name, so my parents gave it to me—and I chose to keep it because I like it.
Rivera is for Sylvia Rivera, an amazing woman and one of the first trans* people I ever learned about.
With my real name legally recognized I'll be able to apply for college, jobs, etc. without (much) anxiety. I'll be able to attend classes without emailing the teachers to begask to be referred to by my nickname.
There'll be less anxiety around my name, but now when I apply for a job I'll be more worried about my legal sex. Hopefully, they won't notice it or realize it's a mistake.
[I wrote the above last week. I went to court just the other day.]
I was extremely anxious about court; not everyone's name change is granted after all.
Luckily, it went without a hitch.
After going through security in my nice clothes and tie, I spent more time waiting (and listening to half a dozen divorces—and they say queer and trans* people will ruin marriage...) than actually in front of the judge. Seriously, he asked me why I wanted to change my name (personal preference and common usage) and if I was changing it for fraudulent reasons (err, no) then granted it.
Though according to my friend who drove me, whispers did break out in the seats when my case was called; I admit I wasn't paying much attention to them at the time...
And next I get to change my name on my BC and state ID and whatnot.
Thursday, November 20, 2008
TDoR
I have no idea what I want to write.
There are 29 people, mostly women of color, dead this year (that we know of). There are 412 people dead since we started TDoR ten years ago (412--thats only those we know of).
What do you say to that?
Any day now I could find out that one of my friends is dead. Any day now I could find out that one of my friends has been assaulted. I could be assaulted or killed too, but at least my white privilege protects me somewhat.
If anyone still thinks we transition because we think its sexy or to follow a fad...I think you need to put down the ideology and start thinking for yourself.
You can do your own research; we can't cater to you today.
Theres a part of me that wants to go and see if the dead are dancing on the lake again.
You see, when I was a child, in the early morning the bus went past the lake and in November you could see the mist rising off the water.
November is the month the dead come out and dance.
Since its getting towards the end of the month, they will be dancing all night and well into the morning.
"Perhaps they are not the stars, but rather openings in Heaven where the love of our lost ones pours through and shines down upon us to let us know they are happy." ~Author Unknown
I hope they are happy. I hope there were enough merry memories in this life. I hope they find even more joy in their next lives.
(lyrics for Tears in Heaven; unable to find them for Dream Journey)
Friday, October 10, 2008
Thursday, September 11, 2008
Burnt Armor
I wanna focus on the happy, the good, the correct, righteous love, on that which must be said, on the defiantly awesome for a minute. Though I know others may be getting annoyed at my constant link-farms, I'm just not really ready to post publicly atm. If you're my LJ-friend, look for a friends-only post in the next few days if you wanna know more.
"Ally" is a bad term to use.
Here is some interesting discussion on how "allies" will use snark and their(our) knowledge to one-up and dominate discussions with ignorant privileged folks.
Gauge did hir own write-up of CT. And it was linked to on Feministing!
Cedar is on a roll!
The Standards of Care are abusive and manipulative in practice.
Step Up; Step Back is actually something that came up between us at CT and I've been trying to formulate a response, but with all the shit happening with me personally I just can't right now. I'd love to, but I'm just not up for it.
Where next? What do we need? Another conversation I wish I had the energy/ability to contribute to.
Trans* rights have been protected in Maryland (for now at least).
Theres proposed legislation in the UK to recognize genders other than man/woman! But first, they need to hear that there is a real need for this.
The proposed legislation will initially state the case for necessity of provision of an alternative option alongside male and female in sex/gender field on forms for application and registration, such as passport application, the Census etc. We are presenting the case for a third option of ‘non gender-specific’, ‘gender not specified’ or ‘other’ on all forms.
In order for the legislation to have any chance of succeeding in early stages of procession through parliament, it is vital that we can demonstrate a strong social need for recognition of identities that have until now been unrecognised by law in all western countries and ignored by gendered society.
*This is where I need the help and support of EVERY resident in the UK who does not identify as male or female and for whom the options of male and female provided by gendered society are irrelevant, inadequate and insulting.*
...
Please send an email to my address Christie.Elan-Cane@ukgateway.net with *I SUPPORT NON GENDER-SPECIFIC OPTION* in the subject line. Give your full name and preferably a full address in the United Kingdom where you are resident. If you would rather not provide address details, write anyway with just your name but responses with a valid UK address should carry more weight if used to petition support from other ministers.
Please do not send any attachment documents with your email.
Per also asks that non-UK residents post this on their blogs/LJs/websites/etc so the word gets out.
And I'm wondering, why don't all those interested in a "gender-free society" send their support too? After all, you may be one step closer to that world** and you'll be helping real people at the same time! Or is the possibility of working with trans* folks instead of against us just too much to ask?
**I don't believe that world is possible, but certainly making it so that one does not have to choose woman/man is a way of showing that they are not the only options.
The Sky is Falling and our love is an act of war.
I won't quote it all because y'all should go over there and read and comment, but I really, really loved these parts:
Here's what they're on about: they live in a world where we are monsters. They live in a world that trembles daily, because we snake our faultlines through its foundations and each time we move more crumbles and falls over the yawning edge of the flattened sea. In their world, once near us, their children can be lost to them, and just seeing us represented fills them with the rage of people struck in the face and deprived of their birthrights.And Flames of Incandescent Terror is an awesome response to that:
That world needs to end, and we know it. That world will end, and they know it.
...
I say let's call down the thunders, then. Let's stand and fight. Let's own that our love is a matter of artillery, and fire salvo after salvo. Let's hold hands and kiss and fuck and dance while all over, rock shears from the cliff-faces of their shuddering world and it frays at the seams. Let's defiantly exist, exist hard, right next to them, public, brazen, beautiful. Let's drill and march and right on their doorsteps let's have unacceptable bodies and loud music and food whose aromas they find foreign and offensive. Let's fucking sing.
We can call it jubilation. They can call it war. Either way, the results are the same. We succeed, and walk hand in hand into a new world where our very existence is not considered a violation, or we do not--and are no longer in a position to care.
Love is an act of blood. Love is an act of bone. It is your breath.Living and other acts of Defiance:
I am a child of the Mother of Demons. My love will rip up the foundations of the world if need be. It will tear apart your safe spaces. It will not let me be silent. My love is a claimed conspiracy to riot stashed in a jail cell awaiting judgement in Minnesota. My love does not wait for a permit or follow an established route. It is here now there then always not with a whimper but a bang and if your world is ending for it then remember that love will divide your families, set kith against kith and kin against kin, that you were warned and said you believed.
I wont back down from who I truly am. I will not butch up to convince you I am a man, nor will I allow you to treat me as a woman. I am myself, a beautiful gargoyle with a heart of stone. I care not for your insistent and terrified mewling. I will not be convenient. I will not be neat. Your binary will not cage me.At the moment, I am not sure if I am up for being a warrior, being defiant, up for more ripping and tearing. At the moment, I just want to crawl away and sleep until I can't care anymore.
Right now the world is too empty and too full; I can't bear it any longer.
But that is right now.
That is right after I am thinking of death and loss after my old mentor dies. Right when I am thinking of betrayal and hurt after drama and pain invade my safe spaces.
But that was now and soon now will be this.
I can't just sleep away till revolution comes. I have tough claws for war (and for protecting). I have wide wings for flight (and sheltering under). I have a rough tongue for lapping up the blood (and the tears).
I can rip and tear at hate and oppression with these teeth; even while I heal pain and the oppressed with this tongue.
So I will lick my wounds for now; here in my cave, with a battered and burnt suit of armor at my door and more marching towards this mountain.
Tuesday, August 12, 2008
Camp Trans is made of win
As I said before, CT was awesome.
Michfest is no longer it's main thing, though certainly its still important to CT. The "WBW"(such a BS phrase) policy is pretty much unenforced and it seems like the majority of festies either don't care if trans* women are there or want trans* women there. In fact, some festies who left early left their wristbands with CT for trans* women to get in and another festy donated money for tickets for trans* women. I missed the days we walked the line, but I heard that reception was mixed which is pretty normal. Though there were some folks that didn't talk to any negative people at all.
The mtf-spectrum folks who went to fest all had a good time, they even hosted a workshop on ENDA. One woman I talked to said that one festie she had spoken with in the line recognized her and came over and said hi and was very glad that she had made it into fest.
There was some bad news. A fest van crashed and, while I'm not sure about details, apparently one fest goer died. When we learned of this, as a community, we immediately decided to get flowers and bring them to the gates. So the next day folks donated money and a few campers went to town to get the flowers. According to those that brought the flowers, the gate keepers were very grateful and I guess there were tears and hugs all around.
Getting back to CT...
I was completely in love with the trans*-centric space there. When we introduced ourselves we gave both our names and our preferred pronouns. Everyone I spoke to respected the gender identities of the others. I can't really put into words how awesome this felt.
It was literally the first time I ever felt really, really safe and not on the defensive in regards to my gender. It was the first time I felt that complete strangers would respect my maleness without me having to hide my transsexuality.
It was just utterly amazing to go somewhere and not second-guess myself and distrust the folks around me (in regards to my gender).
There were all sorts of genders represented; people who identified within the traditional binary to people who couldn't fit into it if they tried. There were butch mtf-spectrum folks; fem ftm-spectrum folks (besides me, though I wasn't feeling all that fem while I was there); and all sorts of flavors of androgynous folks. There were people who didn't use pronouns; some who didn't care what pronouns you used; there were folks who got very offended (rightfully so) if you didn't use the right pronouns.
And there wasn't any excuse for using the wrong pronouns; not only did folks introduce themselves with their pronouns, but it was perfectly acceptable and welcome to ask someone which they prefer. And I say this as someone who did accidentally use the wrong pronouns a few times; and I too don't have any excuse--all I could do was apologize and work to not fuck up again.
But yeah, just being around so many awesome trans* folk and making friends with them and really finally understanding that I'm not alone was just amazing. I really recommend going if you are trans*--especially if you don't know a lot of trans* folk yet. Though obviously only go if you are able to respect all trans* folk. *glares at the HBS folks*
Allies are of course welcome, but this is a, especially a mtf-spectrum, trans*-centric space.
And while I think mtf-spectrum folks were under represented, it wasn't nearly as bad as it used to be and there were a ton of totally awesome mtf-spectrum folks there. *waves at Cedar, Veronica, and everyone else*
There was also a lot of work on becoming better about class, race, disabilities, etc. It was sort of interesting because along with the folks who were in college and/or were rich enough to take a week long vacation, there were a lot of up who just didn't have a steady job or school who were able to come because we got rides or whatnot.
There weren't that many POC, but CT is working on trying to both be a more supportive and anti-racist place as well as reaching out to trans* people of color.
CT is also becoming pretty good about people with disabilities. We had an accessible porta poty this year. As well as folks who signed up to help with stuff like putting up/taking down tents for those who need help, carrying gear, etc. They also have a generator for things like power chairs.
There was also a great medic tent that anyone could go to. They had an herbalist, EMTs, and even a doctor for a bit. They did everything from advising about alternative treatments for long term things to removing ticks to giving folks their hormone shots.
There were also Advocates at most workshops and there was always at least one on duty and sober. They acted as amateur counselors, drama mediators, shoulder to cry on, etc.
I need an advocate now I think, I'm having a hard time writing this post because I want so badly to be back.
The workshops I went to were great. We had all kinds of workshops; serious ones like Accountability, fun ones like Ropes Bondage and Trans* bodies, identity-based ones like Genderqueer Caucus, and all sorts of others.
I attended one informative one about trans* and queer identities and science. An awesome festie ran it, she's a biologist and had all sorts of info and studies that apparently prove that queer, intersex, and trans* identities (at least regarding subconscious sex, gender isn't so concretely proven) are natural (I'm not a scientist and I didn't get a chance to read them through, so I can't say if they do prove anything). We exchanged emails and she got my url, so maybe she'll show up to comment sometime. It was amusing, when I mentioned my "how I experience trans*ism" post she seemed really interested in reading it. I guess my phantom limb syndrome really makes sense in her theory (something to do with the lymph system or something, I can't remember)[ETA: In comments she said it was the ancient mammalian limbic system of the brain, not the lymph system--I is SMRT].
The food was also really, really good. I need to get a hold of the vegan garlic potato soup we had for myself and I think my mom would like the vegan borst (though I'm not a fan of cooked carrots or beets, it was good).
Helping in the kitchen was a lot of fun. The kitchen princess (she's in charge of the kitchen and cooking) was really cool and workshifts were a useful and fun way to get to know more folks.
And you got extra helpings and/or treats for helping in the kitchen (cooking or dishes).
I don't remember how much I've talked about my depression or my current situation here in public, but I think CT will be the goal that gets me through. Not only do I have to goal to get to CT next year, but I hope to be in a place where I can work on various issues at CT.
Like I think that once I've started T, camp will be the perfect place to work on my nudity issues (CT is a very body-accepting place, but I just won't be able to work on certain body issues until I get on T). And I think that if I don't take on too much and keep my eyes on next August I could get through a school year okay, which means that I would have access to health care, which means I could go to an endo and get some vitamin T. I am waiting on my bf to see about possibly living somewhere outside of MI with him, but I think I will be able to deal if I do have to live in MI for a bit. Before I couldn't have dealt with that.
Even this year at CT, with all the problems I have currently, I was able to work on my confidence some while I was there, just by being there with such great people.
In less than a week I feel like I've healed and grown so much thanks to the wonderful folks I met there and the wonderful folks who put CT together these past few years.
And if anyone has any questions about CT feel free to ask. I'll answer what I can. ^.^
PS: CT friends should feel free to comment here or on my LJ (friend me to, I still read my friends page) at any time, I miss you all already. ^.^
ETA: [Removed because I'm not giving them energy]
ETA2: *waves to festies*
Hey, I hope you like my blog; theres a bunch of trans* 101 links to the side if you are interested. My friends who went to fest said it was a lot of fun! I'm glad you all have fun, personally. And I do support women-only space; I just support women-only space that includes all women.
CT was amazing and free (in more ways than one), maybe I'll see you all next year!
Monday, August 11, 2008
He's Back!
So I'm back from Camp Trans.
It was totally made of awesomesauce. I cannot wait to go back and I wish it could have lasted waaay longer. I am definitely going to do a write up in a bit, but right now I am really tired (first shower and comfy chair in a week) and I'm semi-catching up on the internets. I'm just reading my favorites and skimming a lot; at CT I used up all my alloted excitement and energy for the time being. ^.^
I met sooo many completely rad folks and I hope to get to know them better in the coming year(s).
I am just so happy to have gone. Not only was it a fun place where I met great people, but it was incredibly healing. This was the first time, other than a bit online, that I could discuss really personal trans* related stuff or even stuff that was not directly related to me being trans*, but is still impacted by it, and have a group of people nod and tell me that what I experienced/felt/did/etc was completely natural. Even though many of our experiences and/or identities were very different, we supported and cared for and respected each other so much.
It was just so amazing; yes, there were problems and whatnot, but it was still just so amazing. It was so great, but now I am completely exhausted, and it isn't even 9pm, I can't write much more than that at the moment.
Friday, August 1, 2008
Are you listening?
An open letter to cis feminists
Stop fucking up.*
I have complained numerous times that the feminist blogosphere, such as it is, has one main conversation about trans people, one that is returned to again and again and again - the political implications of our transitioning. Click here if you want yet another example of pointless bloody "analysis."
I don't CARE about whatever horrible thing some feminist has said anymore. I care that these discussions centre on cis concerns, even (maybe especially) allies respond mostly to the slurs, but rarely address the real issues.
Now, if you want to have those conversations, here's an idea. Subject yourself to the same kind of analysis. Honestly interrogate if and how you might have more or less privilege than trans people. And no, for the millionth time, trans women are not the fucking Patriarchy.
Or how bout this for an idea. Spend some actual time and energy on trans issues. Here is one thing you are barely talking about - the continual violence against transgendered people for being transgendered.
Blog about Angie Zapata. Blog about Ebony Whitaker. Blog about Sanesha Stewart (to name just three trans women murdered this year).
Try subjecting all that torturous analysis to something actually useful - how violence against trans people occurs. Try thinking about the fact that it is overwhelming trans women of colour being murdered. Try thinking about the intersections between race, transness, misogyny and sex work.
Try writing about the way that institutions collude with this violence - that medical professionals may willingly leave you to die, that police may not prosecute, that lawyers use "trans panic" as a defence to justify the death, and then to add insult to injury, the media effectively blames the dead person for their own deaths AND misgenders them.
And for fuck's sake, don't blame the fucking victims.
I DARE YOU.
* if this doesn't apply to you, then it doesn't apply to you.
So far, a fair number of folks have linked or posted on this too.
I have to admit, I do sometimes focus on the concerns of cis*feminists. It is easier to spork the latest Trans Activist Privilege Checklist instead of writing on how insurance and hospitals refuse to treat us or, if they deign to look at us, give us subpar care. It does feel like it is easier (and cheaper) to change the minds of cis* feminists than cis* politicians.
I also don't like covering the latest deaths/beatings because a) its depressing (gods is it depressing) b) there are never any respectful, decent articles and c) they are never ending. You post on one death/beating and a few days later theres another.
I just can't deal with it; and I feel so wrong for not being able to since I'm not the one whose existence was destroyed.
(Disclaimer: if it don't apply to you, then it don't fucking apply)
I am getting so tired of trans* 101. I am so over "justify your existence to meee!!!"
I want to be able to have a post on TDoR without fucking cis*people stating or telling us they have issues with "transgender politics". I want to be able to x-post or read a trans*-related post on a "general" feminist or progressive forum or blog or LJ comm without rampant cissexism in the comments.
I would really like to go one month without any beatings or rapes or murders of trans*folk. Just one month where we are all considered human and worthy of respect.
Why the fuck do trans* folks have to justify our existence, have to prove that we and our gender identity deserve respect?
Why, when we point out that X cis*feminist has written and worked against us, are we told that we should "put that aside" because she has done "so much for [cis*]women"? Why do we have to bring it up, why can't we focus on the real issues.
Why do I have to have a disclaimer so that I don't hurt the feelings of some poor cis*person? Hellsbells, even if we do put up a disclaimer poor, put-upon, cis*folks will still get all butthurt.
Well, why the fuck can't you just listen? Just shut up and listen. That's what members of the privileged group are supposed to do. I shut up when sex workers talk, when people with disabilities talk, when people of color talk.
When trans* people talk, cis* folk are supposed to listen!
And no, I don't fucking care if you disagree with "trans politics" and therefore aren't cis*--only normal or FAB or whatever (though I do think you can go fuck a lead post).
There are no "trans agendas," no "transgender politics," no "trans lobby."
There is no reason for you to "deconstruct" transgender--the kyriarchy already does it with every murder.
The next time you laugh at a tranny joke, "is it a him or a her? no, it's a shim!" why don't you think about your reaction to a similarly dehumanizing joke about your oppressed group?
The next time you promote someone, a feminist even, who is unabashedly cissexist without mentioning it, why don't you think about how you'd feel if someone promoted a racist or a misogynist or a homophobe without acknowledging their bigotry?
Or is it differreent because they've empowerfulized you sooo much?!
I'm going to try to focus more on trans* issues, rather than cis* feminists' issues with trans*folk. I've actually made it so that I cannot read mAndrea's blog anymore. No really, I have a firefox add-on, leechblock, that lets you block certain sites. I've blocked mAndea's 24/7/365 and made it impossible to change the options. Her site is just inane and soul-crushing, her posts don't even make sense (illogical I might call them). It's like reading any other complete bigot; much of it is just plain wrong, but there are part that are just so horrible I lose all hope for humanity (trans*women want to be raped--she and KA are feminists?).
I hope more folks focus on the real issues instead of apologizing for cissexism or ignoring trans* issues entirely.
I actually have a set of posts planned, I have to finish reading Transgender History, on either/both trans* history and trans* (s)heroes and allies (possibly Sylvia Rivera, Reed Erikson, Magnus Hirschfeld, etc). I also have a post on monsters and monstrous beings/creatures (which is sorta related to being trans*--we are perceived/made to be inhuman monsters), but I either have to get the courage to post the current and very personal version or edit it.
I haven't posted much for a mixture of personal issues, busyness, and depression.
Currently, it looks like I'll be able to go to Camp Trans and I want to do a post about my experience there and another on trans* community(s).
*((((({insert} [more] {{{parenthesis}}} [here]))))))*
I want to write on growing up trans*. On navigating this cissexist world. I want to have the energy to look at my own internalized cissexism. I want to go over and add/edit my definitions post. I want to look at the REAL ID act and discuss how thats going to fuck us over; maybe help find loopholes or just tell other trans*folk what they are. I want to write a post about the intersections of my trans* and my queer identities, without worrying that someone is going to think that they are somehow the same or stemming from the other.
I can't do this when I focus on the hate of those who should be allies. I can't get up the energy when I'm so bogged down in feminist/progressive/liberal cissexism.
I want to do some posts/linkfarms on racism, ableism, sex worker's rights advocacy, etc. Maybe even try my hand at writing something from an ally's perspective or trying to look at the intersections a bit.
I doubt I'll ignore the topic completely, but I'm going to try to focus my trans* posts on actual trans* issues instead of someone else's castle in the clouds.
Thursday, July 17, 2008
Yeah, just more links
Plastics and other commonly-used chemicals may be responsible for early puberty (as in 14-month old babies and 7 year old girls). I already don't eat meat and try to use soaps without chemicals in them...but I know its impossible to get away from them all.
Kate Bornstein on WALL-E. I <3 loneliness, WALL-E, and being trans*.
(I got both links from Helen).
Queen Emily is guestposting on Lisa's blog; she's doing an awesome job looking at common cissexist/transmisogynist tropes. So far, "You're really just a man/woman" and "patriarchal privilege" are up; and the comments are pretty good too imo.
London Pride shouldn't be proud of how they treated (and their non-apology) trans*women. At Pride, trans*women were barred from using the women's restrooms. The stewards called the police on them and the police demanded their gender recognition certificates. WTF.
The People's History of the American Empire (video).
Debs did a "Rape News Round-up".
And now I want to get a few of these books...
Bint Alshamsa tells us not to call her "differently abled".
Measure of Medication from Gehenna.
Over at Radical Masculinity there is a call for discussion about creating healthy models of masculinity. The posts sie (?) links to are very good reading (one of which is a critique of Robert Jenson's views on masculinity, the other is on butch identity and ableism). I highly recommend a lot of the posts on RM; Genderqueer Genders in Society and Masculine Privilege Without Male Privilege? are two great ones.
Also, if I'm still in MI I really want to go to Camp Trans. Is anyone else going?
Type rest of the post here
Friday, June 27, 2008
Perception
Everyone wants me to be something.
They all have some view of who or what I am or should be.
How I should act. Why I am who I am.
Most don't believe me when I say I know who and what I am.
They tell me I'm wrong, that I'm really w, x, y and not Me.
Many folks tell me they know why I am who I am.
I don't really know the whys, yet I can tell that theirs aren't true and are harmful to many.
My dad just thinks what I am is a phase. I suppose that's true. After all, when I die I won't be a man anymore but a spirit instead and who knows about my next life--I could be anything.
I don't think that's what he means though.
My mom thinks it's her fault; that she did something wrong to make me a man.
I don't see why it's so bad, so wrong, to be a man, to be transsexual.
My friends don't see anything wrong with me. They don't try to figure out why I'm a man anymore than they try to figure out why any of our other friends are men or women. They might think about what made them who they are, but it's different to look at yourself.
My cis*male boyfriend just sees the man he's in love with; I'm just shaped a bit differently than he is.
The religious riech tells me I'm a pervert, confused, and disordered. That I need to be made into a submissive, straight, Christian woman.
mAndrea, KA, Thebewilderness, Janice Raymond, and others like them think I'm a pervert, a traitor, disordered, or deceiving myself. That I need to make myself into an andro or masculine political lesbian,
But when I look at myself, I see a man, a geeky man. A man who is pretty sure of who he is, growing surer all the time, and trying to find his place in the world.
I see a guy who happens to mostly like other men, who likes weaving, reading, and making jewelry.
A man who likes feeling the Earth and hir energy; who will go outside when it's storming to feel the wind against his face.
A man who is in love with a great guy who is in love with him back.
I see a man who often feels invisible and misplaced in the world, but who is slowly learning to speak out and carve a place for himself.
And looking at me are the men I might become. The better men are coming closer all the time and the lesser men are fading from view.
I won't bow out and hide myself away again. I won't bow to the pressure of others and become a shadow of a man pretending to be a girl.
I won't listen when they say they know who I am and who I should be. I will ignore or laugh and ridicule those who presume to speak for me without listening.
I don't care why I am who I am; but I will tell you when your theories are wrong or harmful.
I will be supported by my boyfriend and friends and loved ones I have yet to meet; they see the man I am and the men I might be. I will follow my heart and soul and mind to where I should be.
Being myself and speaking my truths, no matter how they harm your theories, will do more for the universe and it's peoples than fading away and letting the minds and needs of others control me.
Tuesday, June 24, 2008
meh
Hokay, so, I'm just going to direct y'all over to Transgriot because she's got a few awesome posts up (then again, when doesn't she?).
And I'm thinking about writing up a post snarking, fisking, or even attempting to refute this one self-identified feminazi's posts and comments on "transgenderism", but I don't know if I want to break my brain. Here is why this could very well break my poor wittle tranny-brain;
"Most transgendered will say that their goal isn’t to “do” any activity, they will say that they just “are” a certain way. Does this make sense? One is an activity that is “done”, the other is a state of being that “is”.
Let’s go through that, just to doublecheck:
You don’t need a penis to pick up a hammer. In other words, you don’t need a penis to “do”.
You don’t need a penis to think about hammers. In other words, you don’t need a penis to “think.”
You don’t need a penis to feel any emotion for hammers. In other words, you don’t need a penis to “feel”.
You don’t need a penis to feel or to not-feel any emotion at all.
Emotions are feelings. To feel an emotion is a state of “being”.
OOPS!! We just used logic to rule out their only explaination. The only explaination left is that it’s a fetish. After 30 years of having this conversation, they still can’t explain why it’s not a fetish."
Yeah...do you see how I could have a hard time translating this moonspeak?
And she talks about how logical she is and how illogical we trannies are; how we just keep trying to appeal to emotions and she doesn't and can't condone appealing to emotions and not logic... o.o
Yeah, apparently, disgust, anger, etc. (the emotions her posts/comments appeal to) aren't really emotions or are somehow logical.
...And now I am, for some reason, imagining a penis that is like an elephant's trunk picking up a hammer. DO NOT WANT
Hmmm, maybe later I'll just go through and make fun of the particularly stupid parts (like that gem above). I just honestly can't believe that she seriously thinks she's proving anything or acting logically. She's made a couple posts on "transgenderism", one of her commenters produced that wonderful idea that some trans*folk are only trans* because we have OCD about our genitals. And she trolled Lisa's blog with the same shit as she did on Anji's, just a bit less of it. BTW, I did answer the "prove it's not a fetish" meme in Lisa's comments. And then, since m andrea never came back, we started to chat about which super powers are better (shapeshifting FTW) among other things. ^.^
I've had friends that were very logical; one is so logical she intuits calculus. And when I explained trans*ism and me being a guy to her she basically went, "Huh, alright, that makes sense. Oh hey, can you find me some resources on asexuality? I have no idea where to even look."
ETA: I'm thinking I'll only do a post on m andrea's "logic" if folks are interested; theres no point in engaging unless I can at least make others laugh, cry, headdesk, etc. ^.^ So just tell me if you are, or are not, interested in reading such a post (though I doubt I will go too deep, I like what little sanity I have left).
Friday, June 20, 2008
Actual good news
Apparently, it's time for congress to have it's first ever meeting on trans* issues!
"The hearing, "An Examination of Discrimination Against Transgender Americans in the Workplace," is scheduled for Thursday, June 26, 2008 at 10:30 am in room 2175 of Rayburn House Office Building. Congressman Rob Andrews (D-NJ) called the hearing as Chairman of the Health, Education, Labor, and Pensions (HELP) subcommittee of the Committee on Education and Labor."
And earlier, the American Medical Association (AMA) said that trans*folk should get our medical needs covered under insurance.
Hopefully some real change results from this...
Wednesday, June 18, 2008
Triggers
In the same vein as my last post...
Apparently it is fine to beat trans*folk when they refuse to be considered less than human. Yep, if that uppity tranny won't bow it's head and kiss your police boots when you call it faggot and heshe you can just beat it and spray mace in it's face. The worst that'll happen is you'll lose your job (only if you were already on probation though).
Just ask Ms. Johnson, she can tell you all about it. Oh yeah, after she was beaten and maced she was handcuffed and left in pain on the floor as a nurse completely ignores her. Funtimes ya'll.
While she was arrested on charges of prostitution, who knows if that's true, and that still doesn't make it all right.
No one deserves to be treated like that.
Moreover, trans*women can be arrested for prostitution for walking down the street or going to a party. Hellfires, they can be arrested or threatened with arrest for prostitution because they went 2 miles over the speed limit. I've talked about police brutality before, but it's still happening and it's still not known about.
"Women of color, and particularly transgender women of color, are often perceived by police through racialized and gendered stereotypes framing us as highly sexualized and sexually available. Law enforcement officers’ internalization and perpetuation of these stereotypes, combined with the high degree of discretion afforded by vague “quality of life” regulations, results in police profiling women of color, and particularly transgender women of color, as sex workers,and selective targeting of women of color for harassment, detention, and arrest." (from INCITE!)
"A Native American transgender woman reported that two Los Angeles police officers handcuffed her and took her to an alleyway. One officer reportedly hit her across the face, saying "you f---ing whore, you f---ing faggot," then threw her down on the back of the patrol car, ripped off her miniskirt and her underwear and raped her, holding her down and grabbing her hair. The second officer is also alleged to have raped her. According to the woman, they threw her on the ground and said, "That's what you deserve," and left her there." (from Amnesty International)
"One officer got in my face with the most vile insults I could imagine, his buddy stood nearby, night stick in hand ready to strike... The one officer, the leader was so vicious and abusive even his one ally seemed distressed at the mindless aggression and hate he spewed forth. I thought I was going to be killed right in front of welfare. With every push, or stab of his billy club, I thought I would die." (from Amnesty International)
There is a gorram reason why many trans*folk and brown folk and current/former prostitutes and/or prostituted folks don't trust police.
And don't fucking say that 99.999% of police are good cops and it's a just a few bad apples. That may be true if you're white, not obviously poor, not obviously LGBT, etc., but for the rest of the population...
Oh yeah, don't say a word if your relatives are cops; I know about the card you guys get (my friend's dad was a cop) that protects you from most minor offenses. Hell, when we were stupid and trespassed (and were caught) that card was the only reason they didn't call our parents or charge us with anything.
And folks can call or write to the Shelby County District Attorney’s Office at 201 Poplar Avenue, Third Floor, Memphis, Tennessee 38103, (phone)901.545.5900. Or Police Director Larry A. Godwin Memphis Police Services 201 Poplar Ave, 12th Floor Memphis, TN 38103 mpd@memphispolice.org. Or Mayor Dr. Willie W. Herenton City Hall 125 N. Main St. Room 700 Memphis, TN 38103 (901)576.6007.
PS: I want to thank WMCTV for using the correct pronouns and not putting Ms. Johnson's old name in the article; I really appreciate that--unfortunately, too few people give us trans*folk that much respect.
ETA: Theres been an update, apparently the officer who beat Ms. Johnson has filed an assault charge against her. Yes, the person who beat her with handcuffs, who was swung at once or twice when she defended herself, has filed charges against her.
James Swain, one of the 'officers', was fired (he was already on probation--I wonder what for) and the other, Bridges McRae, is on desk duty pending an investigation. Yeah, this sounds like they're taking this reeal seriously.
Monday, June 16, 2008
Moar Links
The history of trans* and/or gender variant folks working for and with gay rights groups.
I really like the Queer Nation quote, "We are Queer Nation. We are here to promote unity between all people--some of whom are like us, most of whom are not. We do not necessarily expect to understand the differences between our cultures, our desires, our beliefs, but we do seek to increase respect and acceptance for all our differences so that we may move into the twenty-first century with joy and dignity."
Brownfemipower's thoughts on Obama's Flint speech (which is on my TV right now).
More on how horribly immigrants are treated (how sexual assault and coercion not a feminist issue I ask).
Monica Robert's (of Transgriot) Fathers Day post; a very nice poem about trans*women relating to their fathers.
Discussing racism, sexism, etc. in our childhood movies in the IBTP forums. Right now I'm pulling together some thoughts on Ferngully, specifically on the Batty Rap song I downloaded awhile ago. Yeah, the song the bat who was driven insane by western medicine sings; the bat named Batty.
More of Kim's thoughts on the word "retard"; specifically when feminists use and defend their use of the word. I am not the most knowledgeable on disability activism, but I'm working on it. I think I've gotten rid of ableist words like lame, retard, fucktard, etc. from my written vocabulary...but I still say them though I try not to.
Medical rape.
Now, I don't much like Debs and I think she's a cissexist. But no one deserves to be treated like this--by either the medical community and by this so-called doctor Crippen.
To quote Belledame, "I am writing this because some shit is beyond the pale, and needs writing about. And because rampant misogyny, ableism and--yes! I agree with the author! rape apologists suck ass. As for my feminist creds, or the supposed harm I am doing to feminism by saying "hey, you know what? This guy is a sexist, hateful wankstain, and he's being a gratuitous, GIANT asshole to someone who didn't ask for it to boot"?"
Debs is being bullied by a much larger blogger and few are supporting her, this isn't right. She temporarily closed down her blog because of the abusive comments Crippen and his cronies were sending her btw. Oh yeah, the real Dr. Crippen? Famous for murdering his wife.
And Trinity, who has also been subjected to abusive and violating procedures and 'doctors', has her own contribution to make.
Apparently, mainstream white feminist organizations are silent on the racist and sexist treatment of Michelle Obama.
I'm not sure entirely of what I think, but this is an interesting discussion on when drag is similar to blackface. I think I agree with the OP, sometimes drag is similar to blackface (and sometimes, like with "Shirley Q Liqueur", they're one in the same), but drag itself is not minstrelsy.
On a less serious note, I've also been reading a lot of movieverse Transformers fanfics where Sam becomes some sort of human/autobot hybrid because of his contact with the allspark. Yeah, I'm a geek.
But What Does it Mean?
I have a few posts in the works, no idea how long they'll take though--I'm rather unfocused right now.
One on monsters and the monstrous, another on Sylvia Rivera, on my childhood, as well as a few links/posts I might discuss.
For now, in a transgender forum someone asked what we mean when we say "we feel like [our gender]", how do we know we're that gender. (And sie asked for book recommendations)
Me: I've always felt like I should have male-assigned equipment instead of female, so I started out just wanting to change that. I didn't know if I was a man or a boi or genderqueer.
As I began changing my wardrobe to more male-assigned clothes, getting shorter haircuts, etc. I was gendered male more and more often and it felt right. Eventually, after a while I just felt male no matter that I still haven't started to medically transition. Eventually I just started to identify as a man; and it felt right.
Being gendered and seen as male just feels good and comfortable; being gendered female never did.
And along with Whipping Girl, I recommend The Riddle of Gender and The History of How Sex Changed.
Here's my answer, what's yours?
Wednesday, June 11, 2008
whats with all the memes I'm doing?
Ryan's starting a gender pride meme, and who am I not to play? ^.^
"You know how the feminists run that “Whats your most attractive feature, and you aren’t allowed to say ‘my X, but OMG this other body part is really ugly?’” Meme?
Well, I want to start a Gender Pride Meme along similar lines. I want to know what people’s favourite thing about being gender diverse is. You aren’t allowed to worry about sounding arrogant, and you aren’t allowed to talk about any negative aspects of gender diversity (after all, we talk those things to death, imo). You don’t have to be trans… this is open to people that are queer, or in any way transgress gender norms."
Obviously, everything here is my experiences and, since no one else has the same experiences, I don't expect all trans*/gender diverse folks to feel, learn, and respond to the same things as me
I like how being and accepting myself as trans* has made me so very aware of my body. How I am learning first hand that my body is both incredibly important to who I am and incredibly unimportant. I am learning to truly live and appreciate my body while knowing that it isn't all of me.
I'm walking the line between many extremes and/or switching between; and I like that.
Despite the hassle, I love falling between the lines and being a walking contradiction. It's who and what I am; coming out to myself about being trans* has helped me come out to myself about this too.
(To clarify, I don't fall between the lines of male/female or man/woman; I'm not "best of both worlds". I'm talking about other things than these sorts of ungendering cliches.)
I know myself better than most people my age; better than many people ever know themselves I'd even say. I credit my experiences surrounding being transsexual for this.
I love how I've responded to being trans*.
Working, though slowly sometimes, towards understanding and accepting others. Who knows, if I wasn't trans* I could have ended up very overtly racist like my grandmother and uncle (grandma said I shouldn't spend so much time with my "colored friends" because that was probably scaring white kids away. Uncle says how n*****s are dirtying his neighborhood).
Being trans* and queer and a fem/andro guy has opened my eyes to oppression and activism that I never would have thought had I grown up a white cis*guy.
Growing up assigned-female allowed me to explore gender expressions I would never have been allowed near if I'd been assigned male. I was able to play with legos and dolls, hammers and princess dresses, science kits and EZ bake ovens.
I was given and loved all of them in childhood, and this wouldn't have happened if I wasn't a trans* guy.
I can't explain all of it, but I know I've learned so much in this life from being transsexual. I don't know yet if I'd do it again, but I know I don't regret it.
Thursday, May 22, 2008
There is a continuum ya know
So, I'm thinking of a few posts I have in the works (and as I write this intro I'm still not sure which this post will turn out to be); one on my childhood[trannyhood], women-only space and "WBW"-only space, or one about me my genitals and sex. Being in my childhood home, filled with memories, I don't feel like crying (no I wasn't abused or anything. It's just that I really, really miss my cat, my best friend for over a decade, and this house is filled with memories of her).
Or, as seems to be popular, write about my thoughts on WBW and women-only space. Not only do I find that topic to be becoming somewhat boring, but I also feel...odd commenting on the validity of women-only space as I am a man. Perhaps, when I've thought more about it, I will write on being a man in women-only space (while my school itself was co-ed, the dorms and certain classes were single-sex) and how gorram uncomfortable it was.
So, since I miss my boyfriend (and sex), I'll write about sex.
Ok, fooled ya, I'll write about my relationship with my body as well as give an unsexy and probably somewhat clinical overview of how the romantic and sexual relationship with my BF have progressed. I've been reading the comments on certain posts over at Bilerico and I am somewhat amused by how guys like me went from a HBS/transsexual man to "woman with a fetish" due to a single act.
Plus, it gives me a chance to brag about how much I like most of my body; despite having confidence problems in some areas, I am still quite vain (I am a Slytherin after all). ^.^
Moreover, I recently found the text of Eli Clare's speech given at the Philly Trans* health conference and it is so amazing.
Looking at shame and body shame; specifically within trans* and disability contexts:
“This obsession with cure turns disabled bodies into medical problems to be solved. In doing so, it ignores disability as an issue of social justice. Ignores that many disabled people would rather put an end to ableism than have our bodies “fixed.” Of course this gets complicated when I turn back to trans community, to those of us who seek to reshape our gendered and sexed bodies. But really it’s not our desire or need for bodily change that I’m challenging here. Rather, it’s how we name those desires and needs, because to claim our bodies as defective and to pair defect with cure, not only disregards the experiences of many disabled people, it also leaves us as trans people wide open to shame...Of course there’s another important strand of naming at work in our communities—a strand that declares transness not a disease, gender nonconformity not a pathology, and bodily uniqueness not an illness, a strand that turns the word dysphoria inside out, claiming that we are not the ones dysphoric about our genders, but rather dysphoria lives in the world’s response to us. This naming acts as a necessary counterbalance. But I have to ask: what about those of us who do in truth deal with deep, persistent body disonnance, discomfort, dysphoria? A social justice politics by itself will never be enough to resist shame. ”
I see my transsexuality as a medical condition (not defect) and medical transition as a way of treating my body dissonance. But I still agree with Eli, being trans* (or disabled) does not make us defective, it is society and how society sees and treats us that is defective. Yes, both groups may need treatment, but we don't need to be disappeared or 'cured' into normalcy. As I re-state later, we also have the right to refuse treatment or to choose an alternate treatment to the mainstream options.
Okay, back to me and my body; I just wanted to give a shout out to that fantastic speech.
My relationship with my body is rather complicated to say the least.
I am quite happy with most of my body. While my hair does not always cooperate, I find it to be pleasing to the sight and touch--especially when I can dye it green. My face is attractive enough I suppose, I wish my lips weren't quite so pink though--makes me look like I'm wearing pink lipstick and I look too much like a girl if I cover them with black or deep brown instead...
I am quite fond of my legs, nicely shaped imo and with a decent amount of hair. While I wish I was taller, it's not a major issue .
My arms, despite being thin, are actually quite "masculine" being as they are quite hairy and have visible veins. They are actually one of my favorite body parts, not just because of how they help me pass as a cis*guy, but their overall look, shape and texture and whatnot, is quite pleasing to my eyes--I love the almost blue cast my veins give my arms.
I have some problems with my torso and hip areas though.
I always have bruises on my hips; while they are still relatively narrow, I still forget how wide they are and I bump into walls and tables.
I have a great deal of dissonance regarding my chest; I'll go to take off my shirt and, sometimes, I will be honestly surprised that I have gynecomastia (breast growth on men).
Luckily for me, it isn't a very bad case, a sports bra and a bit of layering is enough to hide it most of the time. But...my group of friends enjoys having "shirtless o' clock" and I enjoy being nude when it's just my BF and I. Moreover, it is incredibly uncomfortable wearing four layers in 80 degree weather. I want it gone, not just hidden.
There are times, like now actually, when I only take a shower every other day just so that I don't have to confront the dissonance.
I pray to the Gods that when I eventually start hormones there will be enough fat redistribution to take care of it. I don't want to put myself at the mercy of hospitals and doctors and hospital staff and insurance companies more than I have to. I've heard too many stories, even just from friends and family, about uncaring nurses, insurance bureaucracy, transphobic staff, and the like. Not to forget that I hate the idea of being helpless and unconscious as some strangers cut me open; if I can I will most definitely have a friend watch over the surgery to make sure nothing happens. And a night at a hospital scares me; what if I get a nurse like the one my mom had after her heart surgery--one who refused to come to help and who left my mom's ESL roommate in pain because she couldn't be bothered to show her where or how the "morphine button" worked. And this is 'just' about top-surgery, How will I feel about genital surgery? Though, for anyone not aware, top-surgery is often deemed more important than any genital surgery by many transgender and transsexual guys (according to what I've seen over the years in various ftm communities).
Ahh... now for the uncomfortable part: my genitals.
Truth be told, I used to hate them.
Growing up and even into adolescence, I would 'hold it' for as long as I could before going to the bathroom--I couldn't stand to sit. Later, when I first attempted to masturbate I disassociated myself entirely and found no enjoyment.
And even later, when my BF and I were first starting to go beyond kissing, I told him to ignore and pretend like I didn't have a vagina at all; and that I wasn't sure about the rest of the area, but he wouldn't be the only one getting any fun.
Eventually, we started to do more than kiss. Eventually, we found things that didn't set off my dissonance too badly that were still fun for the both of us. And, eventually, I came to trust that he sees me as a guy no matter what. No matter that my chest wasn't flat when unclothed, no matter that I didn't have a typical cock, no matter that I have an extra hole.
So, after much thinking and me having to convince him that I actually wanted to, we tried PIV.
And I found that it wasn't so bad--that as long as he still saw me as a man I was usually able to ignore the dissonance.
And surprisingly, I found that when I was feeling bad about being trans*, when I wasn't passing, when I felt like it would be better to just hit the reset button on this life...that having my most important person be made acutely aware of how my body is not male-assigned and yet still having him see me as 100% man was enough to get me through (the orgasms afterwards helped too of course).
It's not a fetish. I still can't masturbate and I'm sure that it'll take a lot of time to develop this level of trust in my future relationships.
It's validation from my most important person; the feeling of love and trust mixed with the knowledge that no matter what I am a man...it isn't sexual for me--it's something else entirely--English doesn't have the words to describe how it feels for me.
As for the penis (and lack of a vag') making the man... Well, in my case I'd really like a peen, my map says I should have one and there is no way I can describe how much it hurts to have my body not match my map that badly. Hopefully hormones, when I eventually go on them (no insurance and it's bloody hard to find anywhere that'll sell T without a script), will make my dick grow enough to lessen the discord to a manageable level... But I'm pretty sure I'll keep the vag'; I've grown to like it, the dissonance surrounding it is manageable, and PIV is way easier than anal (and I am so very lazy).
So anyone, be they HBS or Christian or feminist or have letters after their name, wants to tell me that learning to cope with a vag' makes me less of a man...well they can go fuck themselves with rusty railroad spikes.
Not respecting trans* identities because that person is not as disphoric as you think they need to be is cissexism; it's just as cissexist as not respecting trans* identities period.
My body is my own; I will change what I believe will lessen the most dissonance, keep what I can learn to live with or even cherish, and leave the parts that were never a problem alone.
And I do want genital surgery, but this doesn't make me more of a man than a guy who has been able to deal with, or never had, the same level of dissonance about his genitals (same idea for women btw).
I don't think every trans*person can, or should, attempt to live their life without surgery/hormones. Some people just don't have the same levels of dissonance, some people are able to work through it without hormones and/or surgery. But I also don't think that medical transition, or surgery, should be requirements for being a transsexual or for legal transition.
I won't live my life without medical transition; if I am prevented for too long I know that I'll eventually kill myself. The dissonance is that great; and learning to live with my body-as-is is merely a stopgap measure to help me deal until I can medically transition. But this also means that I can see how a trans*person with less dissonance can work through their dissonance enough to live without medical transition. Remember, some people can pass without any medical transition. And some people don't care as much about passing as a cis*person as long as their loved ones see them as who they are.
I can also see that some people need medical transition ASAP and that hormones and surgery mean a lot to them. Sometimes, it must seem like some transgender folks are saying that anyone can or should live without medical transition (and there are some folks that do believe that); that medical transition isn't important.
And some of these folks think that all trans*/transgender folks think that no one should have them.
And while I can see it from their point of view...they need to stop and learn that even if someone doesn't need surgery that doesn't mean that they necessarily believe that no one needs surgery.
Furthermore, just as important, that one's medical decisions do not change their identity and nor do they define their identity. People have the right to seek alternate treatments and moreover I do not know of any medical condition that is diagnosed by the treatments one chooses to use.
I don't know where my transition will take me. I won't let others tell me what i have to do to be respected or a valid man. I won't let anyone tell other folks what they must do to be respected or a valid person either. Everyone is different and should be respected.
Nature abhors rigid categories; humans are the ones that create and define rigid categories, not Her.
“Although I doubt there is one complete passage between shame and pride, there are many tunnels through the thicket, and on the other side lives an openness that lets us slide into our bodies and makes space for persistent joy and comfort. Body love can wake us up in the morning, put us to bed at night, visit us as we’re dressing to go out or just singing along to our favorite song. These moments don’t usually arrive as big, as loud, as brash, as a Pride parade. They just show up one day in the mirror or the camera, not that we’ve passively waited for them. No, we’re all too aware of how hard we’ve worked for them, but still they arrive unexpected. Sometimes in community or with a single friend. Sometimes with the encouragement of families and partners, or in collaboration with health care providers and therapists. Sometimes they arrive as we’re rabblerousing in the streets or when we’re stuffing envelopes for the next fundraiser. They arrive as we tromp through the woods or walk down the street or dance up a storm on Friday night.
However those moments arrive, let’s build community that nurtures them. Let’s figure out ways of naming bodily difference that fosters comfort and joy. Let’s build a politics that holds space, safety, options, and shuts no one out. Let’s pay attention to shame as both a community issue and a health issue. Let’s create the space to make our bodies home, filling our skin to its very edges.”--Eli Clare
Wednesday, April 9, 2008
Beattie
So, as this is my blog, here are my thoughts on this matter:
I've been hearing of pregnant trans*men since I first started researching trans*ism, transition, and ftm-spectrum trans*folks.
So this isn't a big deal to me; I got over my shock that *gasp* not everyone is me and therefore not everyone has the same level of dissonance around the same exact things as I do.
I could never get pregnant and carry to term.
Not only do I have no desire for children, but I could never carry a pregnancy to term and stay sane/alive.
The few times my period was late after boyfriend J and I started having PIV sex I freaked out and looked up my bookmarked "how to terminate at home" links. I planned to wait one more week before buying orange juice, vitamin C tablets, etc. for a vitamin C abortion.
Luckily, my period started a couple days later no one else the wiser (J is the type who won't do things that make me feel uncomfortable even when I say it's okay).
So yeah, while I could never carry a kid and I have no desire to...I have no problem recognizing that many men want to and they are still men. As well as there are many ftm-spectrum folks who do not identify as man/male would want to have a biological child and this alone does not make them women (they're only women if that's already a part of their identity).
Hellfires, I'm sure there are cis*men who would want to carry their own kid and will if technology ever progresses so far (or virtually if virtual tech ever gets there).
"I see no justifiable reason why a man shouldn’t be able to become pregnant if he has the physical capacity to do so - without threatening his legal status as a man." Says Rebecca.
And on a different note, a woman's suit against her would-be employer will go forward. Izabella Lopez was offered a job at River Oaks Imaging and Diagnostic and when they did a background check and realized she's a trans*woman they took back the offer; citing a "policy of refusing to hire people whose background checks reveal they misrepresented themselves to get hired." Of course, Ms. Lopez put both her current and former legal names on the application and the section for names to search in the background check. And at least one of the Oaks employees knew her as a trans*woman.
Monday, March 17, 2008
Skewed Words
Bigots often take the words those they hate use to define themselves and skew their meanings to make their 'opponents' look ridiculous and make them defend against a straw-argument.
This is true, we see it all the time with right-wing assholes saying they aren't homophobic because they aren't afraid of queer folk.
I used to argue against this conservative woman who refused to call "homosexuals" gay because gay meant happy and very few "homosexuals" were truly happy (and they were going to hell).
If anything, bigots who twist words like this remind me of a heterosexist twelve-year old on that same forum who kept getting mad and offended because she refused to look at my definitions for things and instead 'clarified' my posts with AskJeeves.
So, what's up with some radfems doing this crap?
Sure, things like Lucky's comment and maybe the "radfemophobia" post are jokes. In some ways I don't mind them as much because we all do stuff like that; yet at the same time I sometimes mind them more because posts like Men in Ewes Clothes and Polly's don't have the option of hiding behind "It was just a joke!".
Personally, I try not to use transphobic and homophobic because, in part, how people will choose to misinterpret them; I try to use heterosexist and cissexist instead.
but you know, straw-arguments don't win people over, they don't prove any real point, and they don't show much integrity.
And honestly, if you ask most of the folks who use 'cisgender' they'll say it means "non-trans*"; if they go into more depth they'll say something to the effect of "someone who is comfortable in the sex/gender they were born/assigned as" (and by gender they won't mean masculine/feminine, they'll mean woman/man/girl/boy).
Off topic: Sorry for not posting much recently, I work from 5ish-12ish and it's an hour walk to work (luckily I can usually get a ride back) and I'm trying to keep myself from withdrawing from people.
