Saturday, December 29, 2007

Here is me affirming my gender:

Around this time (I think) anti-trans* feminists were actually mentioning trans*guys; obviously, they knew/know about as much about trans*guys as they know about trans*women. I think I was also upset at the tranny-chasers who were posting on ftm and the guys who were defending objectifying/fetishizing trans*folk/trans*guys. While I do think there is a way to be attracted to gender variant, third gender, genderqueer, obviously trans* folks, etc. without being objectifying/fetishizing, most of the folks I've seen really have been icky about it (I am not the "best of both worlds", fyi).
And I don't view myself as female, biologically female, third gender, butch, etc.
I am a man/guy who was incorrectly assigned female at birth and was incorrectly seen and viewed as female growing up. I am still misgendered as female by others even now.
I do believe that my transsexuality has a biological basis (I think the brain-sex theory really fits me for instance) and that I am biologically male. I realize that I have body parts that are often assigned-female, but I generally don't see them as female (even though I still have disphoria, I still don't see my vagina/chest as being female). I am male, my parts/body is mine/me, therefore my body/parts are also male. That is how I see myself (though other trans*folk can see their bodies/arts any way they like and I will respect their identities/views; as we are all different and have different experiences etc).

Just because I am trans*, doesn't mean I am not a man.
I am a man.

Yes, my parents thought I was a girl until I told them differently, but I am still a man.
Yes socialization plays a part in who I am.
Socialization does not make up my whole being.

I am a man.

I do not hate women.
My cismale friends do not hate women; don't lie and say they do.

I am a man.

Do not tell me I am not a man and instead am some subset of woman/some third gender because I lack a penis OR because people thought I was a girl.

Just shut up; I don't care if your trans*/butch SO agrees with you and your politics.
He may not be a man, but I am not him.

I am a man.

The difference that exists between me and cismen is merely physical; something that can be changed if I so desire.

I do not lie when I say I am a man and always have been.
I am not denying the truth when I object to being placed in a third gender category or with women.

My dating/fucking options are not limited to people who objectify and fetishize what they think I am.
There are people out there who see me as the person I am.

I am a real man.

Yes, I am in a gender category.
Yes, there are people out there who are attracted to me.
My gender?


queen emily said...

You're a man! It sucks that you have to say it, but there we are.

I think what shits me is that most trannychasers very clearly do not see us as we wish to be seen. "Best of both worlds" or "a little something extra" or whatever the fuck is all about denying our own identifications.

Drakyn said...

If I remember correctly, one of the big triggers of this rant was this horrible article a tranny-chaser wrote was posted in ftm. She considered all trans*guys/folks to be genderfuckers, didn't respect peoples' identities (like she even said pronouns didn't matter; I think), and it was really obvious to a lot of us that she fetishized us.

belledame222 said...

do not see us as we wish to be seen....all about denying our own identifications.

why does this seem so very difficult in so many contexts for so many people?

Donna said...

OMG! This is a powerful post and would scare the living daylights out of me if I had put so much of myself out there for people to pick apart. I'm both glad you did, because cis people like me sometimes need things spelled out for us; and at the same time I'm saddened that you feel that you have to, that there is so much ignorance and insensitivity and hate in the world.

I wish people could just believe. They won't though, they insist on putting other people in boxes and defining them without any regard for what that other person says. They need to stop and just believe what others tell them about themselves, who would better know about who they are than the individual?

Drakyn said...

Thanks Donna, I guess this sort of thing just isn't that personal to me. I mean, I'm a guy; it's simple.
I just wish everyone else saw it that easily. ^.^

Donna said...

Oh yeah I understand that and wish it was that easy too. I had also read some other posts before commenting, this one and "A bit about me being transsexual and how I experience this..." were what I was commenting about. It isn't the fact that you are a man that I am's that you took the time to describe your unique perspective and what it all means to you. I could describe myself, a Native American woman, etc, etc, etc, the labels I attach to myself that's easy. It's describing what that means to me, how I see the world and how I think the world sees me, that's harder, especially when the two don't mesh. It's when I write in a way that leaves these personal parts of myself lying around, I find myself feeling the danger. Feeling vulnerable, because the expectation is that people will take you at your word, but too often people hear what they want to hear and see what they want to see. They filter it and later you find out they have gotten it wrong, maybe even opposite to what you said, or imply that you don't even know yourself, or even say that directly.